I've been lurking on this website for a couple days and wondered if I could get some advice.
I will make this as short as I can: I'm a 51 year old man. I've been divorced from my ex-wife, going on five years next month. My ex and I were married 23 years. In year 22 of our marriage she had a six-month long sexual affair with an old boyfriend from her college days. I knew nothing about the affair until one of our two sons, the older boy, told me what was going on. I hired a private eye and he tracked my wife and her old boyfriend to his apartment about twenty-five miles from the town where we live. She had gone out that day on the pretext of spending the day shopping, when in reality she was spending the day with him.
The P.I. got me pictures and times and I confronted her the next week. She admitted to the affair and I immediately moved out and went to live with my elderly dad across town. I filed for divorce that same week. She continued on with her affair with the boyfriend. After our divorce was final a year or so later she and him got married. It was a great big wedding, with all our old friends attending, and even my sons went. I of course felt deeply insulted and betrayed by this, as I felt my sons and friends should have supported me. Instead they supported my cheating ex. I cut off all contact with these old friends, and my relationship with my two boys has been strained from that point onwards. We don't talk often. I used to be very close to my boys but I guess they felt closer to their mom.
I guess it was not the happy marriage she was hoping for, because he left her last year and their divorce will be final sometime this month. He also left her with a huge pile of debt. When I divorced her I gave her our paid-off house (that I built) and five acres of land worth about $250,000. Her new husband moved in with her. My son told me that she took out a new mortgage on the house to pay off her husband's debt a year or so before they split up. She is a teacher and will be retiring here in the next couple of years and there is no way she can make the mortgage now, since payments will be well over $1,500 a month.
Well guess who has been calling me out of the blue lately? Yep. You guessed it. My ex-wife now all of a sudden has warm glowing memories of our marriage. She called me yesterday and asked me how I was doing. Then she proceeded to tell me that she misses me and wants us to start dating again. I told her that was funny, since this was the first time in five years she had called me or even deigned to talk to me. I also pointed out that she had also done a good job of vilifying me to everyone we knew, telling everyone in her family and all our acquaintances what a tyrant and horrible husband I had been to her. Of course she said that that wasn't true and that was all exaggerated. Anyways, she wants to get together this coming weekend for dinner.
I am single, have been dating and I have been enjoying my life as a bachelor. I have lots of lady friends who share their time with me and I don't really feel like ever getting married again.
So I guess my question is, should I meet with her to hear what she has to say? I know that her money problems are at the heart of her sudden re-interest in me. I guess I have a sort of morbid curiosity about what she is going to say. There are a lot of things I would like to say to her and none of them very nice. I just wonder if meeting with her is a good idea. I'm afraid that only more pain will come of it.
I will make this as short as I can: I'm a 51 year old man. I've been divorced from my ex-wife, going on five years next month. My ex and I were married 23 years. In year 22 of our marriage she had a six-month long sexual affair with an old boyfriend from her college days. I knew nothing about the affair until one of our two sons, the older boy, told me what was going on. I hired a private eye and he tracked my wife and her old boyfriend to his apartment about twenty-five miles from the town where we live. She had gone out that day on the pretext of spending the day shopping, when in reality she was spending the day with him.
The P.I. got me pictures and times and I confronted her the next week. She admitted to the affair and I immediately moved out and went to live with my elderly dad across town. I filed for divorce that same week. She continued on with her affair with the boyfriend. After our divorce was final a year or so later she and him got married. It was a great big wedding, with all our old friends attending, and even my sons went. I of course felt deeply insulted and betrayed by this, as I felt my sons and friends should have supported me. Instead they supported my cheating ex. I cut off all contact with these old friends, and my relationship with my two boys has been strained from that point onwards. We don't talk often. I used to be very close to my boys but I guess they felt closer to their mom.
I guess it was not the happy marriage she was hoping for, because he left her last year and their divorce will be final sometime this month. He also left her with a huge pile of debt. When I divorced her I gave her our paid-off house (that I built) and five acres of land worth about $250,000. Her new husband moved in with her. My son told me that she took out a new mortgage on the house to pay off her husband's debt a year or so before they split up. She is a teacher and will be retiring here in the next couple of years and there is no way she can make the mortgage now, since payments will be well over $1,500 a month.
Well guess who has been calling me out of the blue lately? Yep. You guessed it. My ex-wife now all of a sudden has warm glowing memories of our marriage. She called me yesterday and asked me how I was doing. Then she proceeded to tell me that she misses me and wants us to start dating again. I told her that was funny, since this was the first time in five years she had called me or even deigned to talk to me. I also pointed out that she had also done a good job of vilifying me to everyone we knew, telling everyone in her family and all our acquaintances what a tyrant and horrible husband I had been to her. Of course she said that that wasn't true and that was all exaggerated. Anyways, she wants to get together this coming weekend for dinner.
I am single, have been dating and I have been enjoying my life as a bachelor. I have lots of lady friends who share their time with me and I don't really feel like ever getting married again.
So I guess my question is, should I meet with her to hear what she has to say? I know that her money problems are at the heart of her sudden re-interest in me. I guess I have a sort of morbid curiosity about what she is going to say. There are a lot of things I would like to say to her and none of them very nice. I just wonder if meeting with her is a good idea. I'm afraid that only more pain will come of it.
Put the internet to work for you.
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