Me and my (first) girlfriend have been together for over 6 months now, and it's honestly been the happiest I've ever been in my life and for her, cos she's had a rough upbringing and that I've made her happier. But recently, my thoughts have turned to university and what it's going to mean for us; I've always been a long-term person and a one-girl guy but im terrified as to what uni is going to mean for us.
The thing is, we're both Muslim and although I'm barely religious, I don't agree with things like drinking and smoking and all that other stuff people do, but the way I see it, it's their life so I shouldn't let it affect me. She's always said she's looked forward to university the most because we'll be able to see each other more often (currently long distance), but she's also said that she wants to try everything when she gets there. And that really, really scares me. I want her to go out with her friends and really enjoy herself, because I love it when she enjoys herself, but I feel like that's going to come at the detriment of me. I feel like she's going to go out, get drunk off of her face, and her friends will say 'go and snog that fit guy over there' or she'll start doing something stupid without even realising how much I'll be hurt because of it. I'm scared that she'll go out in skimpy clothes and let guys take advantage with her and dance and all that crazy stuff, an d just forget about me and our relationship, and that when I log onto facebook, the first thing I see is 'so and so was tagged in a photo' and she'll have her hands on another guys face pulling him close, or seeing a guy with his hand on her waist and she'll look happy about it and won't give one.
I've had this conversation with her, but it doesn't seem to put her off of it, which is fair enough because if she wants to do something then I'm not going to stop her, but I just don't understand why she knows that she's putting herself in a situation where I'm going to get hurt or something COULD happen but that doesn't deter her at all. She's only drunk once before at her prom (before I met her) but that was just tipsy. She's always said to me she won't hurt me, and she's also said (in a laughy, happy way) 'don't worry, I'm not gonna go and have sex with anyone' but I know that alcohol is going to affect her judgement completely. I honestly don't know what to do with myself, I've never been an insecure person up until now and I know that if I don't get to have a life with her, then it'll never be with anyone else, because I love her, and I know she loves me just as much even if she struggles to say it, I've heard the way she's spoken to her friends about me, and for some r eason I don't seem to take to heart the sweet things she ALWAYS says to me, I don't for some reason actually believe them, but whenever she brings up drinking and going out with her friends or whatever at university, even if it's just a fleeting comment, that sticks with me and I hate it. I almost get scared whenever I see her name in my phone sometimes because thoughts of everything come back and I feel like I'm just going to get hurt.
Sorry about the essay, but I just don't know how to change my mentality, I just feel so helpless, almost as if she'll go out, and we'll schedule to do something the next day but she'll be so hung over or something that she'll say no and it won't even bother her; I feel like if something happens between us, I'd be the one that comes out as more hurt than her, and that she'll simply get on with it and say 'oh well, plenty of other guys to have sex with and give me attention' even though she is literally my whole world, and I know I'm hers, I'm just terrified of what's going to happen because whenever I think of uni, the only sort of social life anyone appears to have is going clubbing, wearing nothing, and getting completely off your face and doing it again, and I really don't know what to do or how to stop myself thinking about it all.
The thing is, we're both Muslim and although I'm barely religious, I don't agree with things like drinking and smoking and all that other stuff people do, but the way I see it, it's their life so I shouldn't let it affect me. She's always said she's looked forward to university the most because we'll be able to see each other more often (currently long distance), but she's also said that she wants to try everything when she gets there. And that really, really scares me. I want her to go out with her friends and really enjoy herself, because I love it when she enjoys herself, but I feel like that's going to come at the detriment of me. I feel like she's going to go out, get drunk off of her face, and her friends will say 'go and snog that fit guy over there' or she'll start doing something stupid without even realising how much I'll be hurt because of it. I'm scared that she'll go out in skimpy clothes and let guys take advantage with her and dance and all that crazy stuff, an d just forget about me and our relationship, and that when I log onto facebook, the first thing I see is 'so and so was tagged in a photo' and she'll have her hands on another guys face pulling him close, or seeing a guy with his hand on her waist and she'll look happy about it and won't give one.
I've had this conversation with her, but it doesn't seem to put her off of it, which is fair enough because if she wants to do something then I'm not going to stop her, but I just don't understand why she knows that she's putting herself in a situation where I'm going to get hurt or something COULD happen but that doesn't deter her at all. She's only drunk once before at her prom (before I met her) but that was just tipsy. She's always said to me she won't hurt me, and she's also said (in a laughy, happy way) 'don't worry, I'm not gonna go and have sex with anyone' but I know that alcohol is going to affect her judgement completely. I honestly don't know what to do with myself, I've never been an insecure person up until now and I know that if I don't get to have a life with her, then it'll never be with anyone else, because I love her, and I know she loves me just as much even if she struggles to say it, I've heard the way she's spoken to her friends about me, and for some r eason I don't seem to take to heart the sweet things she ALWAYS says to me, I don't for some reason actually believe them, but whenever she brings up drinking and going out with her friends or whatever at university, even if it's just a fleeting comment, that sticks with me and I hate it. I almost get scared whenever I see her name in my phone sometimes because thoughts of everything come back and I feel like I'm just going to get hurt.
Sorry about the essay, but I just don't know how to change my mentality, I just feel so helpless, almost as if she'll go out, and we'll schedule to do something the next day but she'll be so hung over or something that she'll say no and it won't even bother her; I feel like if something happens between us, I'd be the one that comes out as more hurt than her, and that she'll simply get on with it and say 'oh well, plenty of other guys to have sex with and give me attention' even though she is literally my whole world, and I know I'm hers, I'm just terrified of what's going to happen because whenever I think of uni, the only sort of social life anyone appears to have is going clubbing, wearing nothing, and getting completely off your face and doing it again, and I really don't know what to do or how to stop myself thinking about it all.
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