I read a lot about how marriage doesn't have to be difficult or hard and if you marry the "right person, things will be easy. I learned this was not true.
One of the things I learned is people change and sometimes they don't like to change. I also learned that it's OK to change but how you manage the changes and work together to make it through TOGETHER, in one piece (each!) is what matters. You can marry "the right person" and then suddenly watch them crumble under pressure or respond badly to an unexpected life event. You can marry "the right person" and find yourself living as if you're two roommates and can barely connect.
I think a lot of marriages would last and could get through the hard times if more people were willing to admit that change is hard and it's okay to admit that. It's also okay to admit that life can change your spouse into someone you didn't expect, but it doesn't mean you can't love them and they don't love you back.
Part of the reason why people are the people they are much later in their marriages is by weathering the storm. I think if more people realized that storms in a marriage happen-- some more frequent than others-- what keeps a marriage alive and successful wouldn't be such a secret.
More thoughts to come.
One of the things I learned is people change and sometimes they don't like to change. I also learned that it's OK to change but how you manage the changes and work together to make it through TOGETHER, in one piece (each!) is what matters. You can marry "the right person" and then suddenly watch them crumble under pressure or respond badly to an unexpected life event. You can marry "the right person" and find yourself living as if you're two roommates and can barely connect.
I think a lot of marriages would last and could get through the hard times if more people were willing to admit that change is hard and it's okay to admit that. It's also okay to admit that life can change your spouse into someone you didn't expect, but it doesn't mean you can't love them and they don't love you back.
Part of the reason why people are the people they are much later in their marriages is by weathering the storm. I think if more people realized that storms in a marriage happen-- some more frequent than others-- what keeps a marriage alive and successful wouldn't be such a secret.
More thoughts to come.
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