Want to stay married.....but...

So I stumbled upon this forum site and I found it interesting. I Googled "why will my wife not listen to me?" and here I am. This is the first time I have done this and I have no idea if this is the right place to do this but here I go. A little about me. I am in my 40's, male, and been married for 10 years. First marriage for us both. We have a 3 year old soon to be 4 year old. I love my daughter to death and will give her whatever she wants. Kids deserve to be spoiled. I am a successful business man that works about 45 hours a week. For the first time in my life I love my job but it is stressful and demanding but rewarding. I am a musician and love music, movies and technology. Lets make this clear, I love my wife and make sure I show her I love her often. The problem I have is she lacks the ability to see cause and effect. We use to fight about money but my new job solved for that although there are issues still lingering. It drives me nuts that she thinks I am an endless meal ticket but I try not to worry about that topic. A little about my wife, she loves reading, shopping, and thinks technology is a waste of time unless it benefits her. Music is something she can do without and we are pretty much opposites. So tonight we got in a real argument right in front of our 3 year old which I ended up telling her to go to her room as I felt we should do not it in front of her even though I know she could hear us. The problem: We have 2 dogs and 2 cats. My wife and child adore them; I can do without them although they are good companions. We just replaced all our carpet in the whole house about 6 months ago and it cost a lot. I installed a gate to keep the dogs off the carpet. One of the cats (male) has a problem will vomiting and peeing wherever and it gets on my nerves. Before we replaced the carpet we had agreed to keep the cat in the basement. One of the dogs always chooses to drag its butt on the carpet and the other pees on the hard wood floor which has caused wood damage in spots since my wife seems to not notice the dogs need to go out. WE have argued about this a number of times and I offered solutions versus getting rid of them; however my wife refuses to listen to my offers and ignores what I have requested meaning keeping the cats either downstairs or outside and the dogs on the other side of the installed gate. The second I leave the home she lets them out and later I run across an "accident" somewhere in the house and she seems to not care about it. My mancave now smells like cat pee and I hate it! I am on the brink of either leaving myself or just taking all 4 animals somewhere else to live; both options would send my marriage on a downward spiral. Keeping the cats and dogs leaves me not wanting people to come over because of the smell. She says that she does not smell anything.......he pees on our clean clothes, on our bed, my music equipment! OMG-osh the list goes on! I just don't know what to do here. Her not listening goes a lot farther than that. Shopping: She will spend money until I tell her to stop since we are low on funds, then just uses her credit card versus the bank account. We already went into a severe credit issue a few years back and I had to get a loan on my 401K just to get us out of that. It seems I have to ask permission to make any purchases and she just buys whatever she wants. That leaves me frustrated and if I want something I just don't even tell her anymore. I work hard for my money and I do not feel like I need to ask her permission. That worked when she was the main bread winner but now that I make more, it does not make sense that I have to ask. the same thing with our child. Although this is our first child together, I have helped raise my nieces and nephews and know a thing or two about raising children. Our dog attacked our child at 9 months right in front of me and she does not understand why I do not want the dogs around our child. Additionally, I always cut up our daughters food, especially grapes and large items so she does not choke on them. My wife thinks I am overly paranoid and I always have to remind her to cut up our daughters food. I am just at my wits end here and looking back on this post, we have a lot of communications issues and items we just do not see eye to eye on. I am thinking about leaving but not sure that is the best way. I also thought about getting a counselor but it would be one sided. I would do all the talking and she would just sit there thinking I am attacking her in front of our counselor.......just typing this is exhausting. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. I am so out of breath. Talking and arguing does not seem to work so I am looking for advice! Thanks in advance! Originally I posted this in the "wrong place" so re-posting here.

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