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Disappointment in People

I am so disappointed, I don't even know where to begin. Feel free to skip this - just needed to get this off my chest...

I have this friend. We have quite a complicated history seeing as we began as good friends, dated for a month and remained good friends after (despite him continuing to pursue me).

This year has been particularly difficult for both of us. We graduated from university last year and struggled with job hunting. From January until recently, I have been lucky enough to secure temporary jobs while he has been struggling to secure anything despite having had many interviews. Until recently, our situation swapped. I was let go from my temporary job since the project I was initially called in for has come to an end, whilst he literally just started a job at a leading investment bank. The moment he told me he had secured a job, I could sense that his attitude towards me was beginning to change.

Throughout his job hunt, I think I have been incredibly supportive and patient with him. He was incredibly clingy, but I understood he was having a hard time so I tried my hardest to offer support whenever I can. It came to a point where he would send me e-mails apologizing for annoying me just because I hadn't replied a text about meeting for lunch that afternoon, and where he would guilt trip me into meeting up with him ( and when I end up meeting him after work, he would say, 'oh you should of said if you didn't want to meet'). And, every time we do meet, he is always pointing out my weaknesses. Last time we met, the second he saw me, he went, 'do you know how I recognised you from a distance? The way you walk, you walk funny. You should change that. Just thought you need to know that'. And the time before, he commented about how I dressed as 'looking like I just came out of prison'. Oh, and from time to time, he would tell me what other people thought about me, as 'stingy ', 'unreliable', 'socialize too much' and basically a horrible person. I really don't know where people got that from. I was never in my room when we were at uni, which is true, but doesn't mean I was out socialising all the time. I used to be incredibly busy because I was in a university sports team, preferred studying in the library and made sure I met up with different groups of friends on top of my busy schedule. But I don't find that a negative thing. I don't understand why he would want to make it sound like it is. On top of that, he would always say, oh they haven't seen you now, you've changed a lot, you're so much better. He also knows I have been having a hard time at home. He has been pressurizing me to talk about it, even though I explicitly told him I didn't want to because I am trying to focus on the positives in my life and not dwell on the negativity.

Anyway, it got to a point where I just couldn't stand all those negativity, and that I felt like my confidence in myself has dropped so much in the last year. The last time I met him my temper eventually lost control and I snapped at him, and just basically walked off! When I got home, I just sent him a message apologising for storming off, and told him that I needed some space to sort my head out in my own time. A week later, I sent him a message asking how he was and he never replied.

Right now, I am feeling so so angry at him. Despite all those negative things he told me to my face, I have offered to help him with his interview preparation when he came to me telling how **** he felt getting so many interviews and failed at them. I even spent hours helping him prep up for interviews (which he got the job), despite having worked overtime in the City. I can't believe, even though he had thanked me countless amount of times for my patience with him and helping him getting through the last 6 months (when everyone else has ditched him), he would just blank me the moment he got his dream job while I am having a tough time re-adjusting to unemployment.

I have been disappointed in so many people. Now his behavior has given me no hope.




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