Another one joins the ranks

Like to start off by saying hi and thanks for all the insight and knowledge everyone has shared. Found out about the wife's PA on June 29. It was all by chance. I got up to start my Saturday while in the bathroom there was the wife's phone. I never looked at her phone before but something told me to look. And there it was. Texts to the OM. I went into our room woke her and went off. I shouldn't have handled it that way but I was hurt and angry. Anyway I called her few choice words and told her pack her stuff and hit the bricks. I left for awhile to calm down and when I returned the kids were crying she was crying it is a mess. He is a IT guy who had been doing some work at her office. She did him in our family car after work in January. Don't even like getting into or looking at that car. She is 38 I'm 46 we have two boys 17 and 15. Sorry the story is so crazy I'm at my wits end. She hasn't seen or spoken to the OM since the 29th. She came clean a bout everything. She said she was feeling like I didn't want her, her mother had passed away it will be two years in November. She has low self esteem because of her weight and she said she was feeling like she wasn't needed because the boys are getting big and will be moving out soon. So I saw her slipping away before this happened and was unable to reach her. I do love her. I told her to stay withthe boys and I so it didn't totally ruin there bond. They wanted nothing to do with her. I let them be pissed for a week then forced them to speak to there mother. She was and still is devastated by the way her boys turned on her. We have been trying to get our lives back on track but I'm having a hell of a time. Im unsure about what I want. I try to reconcile but that is wearing off and all I want is for her to leave. Any advice will be greatly appreciated. We have been together for 20 years.

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