What the crap am I supposed to do with this email I just got tonight from her.
"When we met a few Tuesdays ago, you apologized for a lot of the things you did wrong in the marriage. I would like to do the same. I know that the work you do is extremely important and meaningful to you and I'm sorry for invalidating that, which I know I especially did at the beginning of the marriage. I know it is/was very important for you to be able to feel like you were providing for your family, and I'm sorry that I didn't let you have that, and encourage you more in that. I'm sorry that my libido slowed after we got married. I know it's likely that a big part of the strain to our emotional intimacy was due to a strain in our physical intimacy. The two absolutely affect each other, and unfortunately, both of them were on a downward slope from the time we got married. I'm sorry I didn't work harder at figuring out how to mend the sexual intimacy part of our marriage. I'm also sorry that I was always so disconnected from my emotions. I'm sorry that I wasn't better able to know what it was I needed/wanted and be able to share that with you. I'm sorry that I let myself grow distant from you without realizing it, sharing it with you, or trying to fix it. I'm sorry for developing in my individual life rather than developing together in our lives. I’m sorry for having questioned our marriage and for not making you feel like number one in my life.
These past few weeks have been very difficult for me. I question the choice I'm making every moment of every day. I hate that our lives have come to this. The day I married you I never thought that this would happen to us. I care for you greatly and hate hurting you. You've been the most important person in my life for over 10 years and it's very difficult to lose that. I know you feel all of those things too and I’m so sorry to do this to you when you would have continued working on your marriage to me until the day you died.
Part of what has been most difficult on me is not knowing if these emotions I feel are accurate. For my entire adolescent and adult life, my feelings have been validated, or often times even explained by you. I realize now that this was, unfortunately, to my, and thus our detriment. I feel like I wasn't able to fully develop my own understanding of my emotions. So right now, to have you so strongly believe and feel that we should be together, but have me not feeling it, and not knowing what to believe is very, very hard. I feel like if I came back to you, I would just be doing the same thing again, and that I could never be happy and content with myself. I was hoping I could figure all that out over the past 6 months, but all I've figured out is that I am not certain about anything. The only thing I can know is how I feel, and how I feel says that it’s not right for me to stay in the marriage.
I have been looking for a new place to stay because I don't like the place I'm at. It's hard living with someone that you don't like or care about. I found a place that should be really good for me. It's a set-up kind of like Wendy has with a tiny house/apartment on a piece of property with a larger house. The couple who lives in the house are older and actually have other houses in both Hawaii and at the beach, so will hardly ever be there anyway. They said I could have the run of the yard, which includes quite a few raised beds. The thing I wanted to let you know, is that it's a year-long lease. It was an extremely difficult decision for me to make, just because it seems so permanent, but I think it's what I need to do. I had to put my last place of residence and landlord on the application, which of course was your dad. I'm sorry. But I wanted the news to come from me rather than from this random lady that you haven’t met.
I wish there was something I could do to make your life happier. I’m so sorry that the person you married turned out to be different from what you had in mind. I hate that I did that to you."
i need some advice right now. Should I do nothing. Should I do something. WTF
"When we met a few Tuesdays ago, you apologized for a lot of the things you did wrong in the marriage. I would like to do the same. I know that the work you do is extremely important and meaningful to you and I'm sorry for invalidating that, which I know I especially did at the beginning of the marriage. I know it is/was very important for you to be able to feel like you were providing for your family, and I'm sorry that I didn't let you have that, and encourage you more in that. I'm sorry that my libido slowed after we got married. I know it's likely that a big part of the strain to our emotional intimacy was due to a strain in our physical intimacy. The two absolutely affect each other, and unfortunately, both of them were on a downward slope from the time we got married. I'm sorry I didn't work harder at figuring out how to mend the sexual intimacy part of our marriage. I'm also sorry that I was always so disconnected from my emotions. I'm sorry that I wasn't better able to know what it was I needed/wanted and be able to share that with you. I'm sorry that I let myself grow distant from you without realizing it, sharing it with you, or trying to fix it. I'm sorry for developing in my individual life rather than developing together in our lives. I’m sorry for having questioned our marriage and for not making you feel like number one in my life.
These past few weeks have been very difficult for me. I question the choice I'm making every moment of every day. I hate that our lives have come to this. The day I married you I never thought that this would happen to us. I care for you greatly and hate hurting you. You've been the most important person in my life for over 10 years and it's very difficult to lose that. I know you feel all of those things too and I’m so sorry to do this to you when you would have continued working on your marriage to me until the day you died.
Part of what has been most difficult on me is not knowing if these emotions I feel are accurate. For my entire adolescent and adult life, my feelings have been validated, or often times even explained by you. I realize now that this was, unfortunately, to my, and thus our detriment. I feel like I wasn't able to fully develop my own understanding of my emotions. So right now, to have you so strongly believe and feel that we should be together, but have me not feeling it, and not knowing what to believe is very, very hard. I feel like if I came back to you, I would just be doing the same thing again, and that I could never be happy and content with myself. I was hoping I could figure all that out over the past 6 months, but all I've figured out is that I am not certain about anything. The only thing I can know is how I feel, and how I feel says that it’s not right for me to stay in the marriage.
I have been looking for a new place to stay because I don't like the place I'm at. It's hard living with someone that you don't like or care about. I found a place that should be really good for me. It's a set-up kind of like Wendy has with a tiny house/apartment on a piece of property with a larger house. The couple who lives in the house are older and actually have other houses in both Hawaii and at the beach, so will hardly ever be there anyway. They said I could have the run of the yard, which includes quite a few raised beds. The thing I wanted to let you know, is that it's a year-long lease. It was an extremely difficult decision for me to make, just because it seems so permanent, but I think it's what I need to do. I had to put my last place of residence and landlord on the application, which of course was your dad. I'm sorry. But I wanted the news to come from me rather than from this random lady that you haven’t met.
I wish there was something I could do to make your life happier. I’m so sorry that the person you married turned out to be different from what you had in mind. I hate that I did that to you."
i need some advice right now. Should I do nothing. Should I do something. WTF
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