I posted in two other forums and asked for help regarding my really unusual relationship. Long story short, me and my soon to be ex-wife dated for six years before getting married. Due to career reasons we had to live on two sides of the planet for a year after getting married. We both understood that this is the sacrifice we need to make to have a better future (or so I thought). I asked her several times to come and live with me and find some suitable opportunities but she declined. We met after a year and she seemed disinterested in me. Starting a few months before that, our communication started to fall apart. She would spend long hours with her friends (or rather a `friend') and would not even come for video chat on weekends. I literally begged her to open a line of communication with me but she didn't.
A couple of months after our last meeting she asks me for divorce telling me that she doesn't love me anymore. I start blaming myself, change myself for the better lose 20lbs in 2 weeks, start the transformation towards being a better human being. But she would have nothing of that.
Two days ago I discovered that when she was with me, she was still talking to a male colleague for more than two hours a day while I was at work or going to bring things she wanted me to. So when I was running around, doing things for her, she was having romantic conversations with another person and cheating on me.
I have always been by her side. I sacrificed my career, my family, my life for her. She is of high risk to experience breast cancer (already two surgeries). I never left her side and had always been there. The only problem for her was my temper. I used to lose my temper if she refused to talk to me as I felt frustrated that our line of communication was breaking down, or if she misbehaved with me. She used to be rude to me all the time, but I never left her.
So I confront her about this other person and she admits of having EA. She had EA twice before and I forgave her and took her back. But this time she doesn't want to come back. So I am going to make the last sacrifice for her and letting her go. I never forced her to do anything and always let her make her own decisions. But this other guy got involved with a married woman, instigated her against me (I suspect some part of her family too due to their own monetary interests), and is now forcing her to get a divorce as soon as possible. The irony is, she cannot even realize what is good for her in the long run and the tinted glass has made her blind. She told me that she didn't tell me about the OM while asking for divorce because she feared I wouldn't grant her wishes if I knew about her affair.
I hold no grudges against them. I would like to thank the other guy for saving my life. I have got myself back and I have realized that a relationship means give and take and one side giving all the time only weakens a relationship. I forgave my soon to be ex wife three times including this one and if she could show some commitment towards our relationship of 7 years then I was willing to take her back. But she wants to throw this relationship for a six month old fling. I wish them all the happiness of this world and beyond.
I am doing well and really amazed how resilient a person can become in the face of adversities. She was literally my life for the last seven years and that was a very bad decision. Life demands balance and I didn't respect that. I got the punishment I deserve but it turned out to be OK.
So if you are sad, lonely, scared, and desperate, dont't be. Realize what part you played and never make those mistakes again. Commend yourself for being able to love so much that it hurts. Cry and then start laughing. Listen to 'What a wonderful world' or 'Raindrops keep falling on my head', go for a walk, reconnect with friends and family (they love you! really!), exercise, and stop having expectations. Don't be under any illusion to get your ex back. Be thankful for what you had and also for what you didn't get. You are doing a lot better than a lot of people. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Love the whole world. Why waste the capability to love just on one person?
So get out of your world of pain and sorrow and enjoy the sights, sounds, and colors of life. Life is too short to let moments pass by thinking of the past. Be positive, have faith, be good, and do good.
A couple of months after our last meeting she asks me for divorce telling me that she doesn't love me anymore. I start blaming myself, change myself for the better lose 20lbs in 2 weeks, start the transformation towards being a better human being. But she would have nothing of that.
Two days ago I discovered that when she was with me, she was still talking to a male colleague for more than two hours a day while I was at work or going to bring things she wanted me to. So when I was running around, doing things for her, she was having romantic conversations with another person and cheating on me.
I have always been by her side. I sacrificed my career, my family, my life for her. She is of high risk to experience breast cancer (already two surgeries). I never left her side and had always been there. The only problem for her was my temper. I used to lose my temper if she refused to talk to me as I felt frustrated that our line of communication was breaking down, or if she misbehaved with me. She used to be rude to me all the time, but I never left her.
So I confront her about this other person and she admits of having EA. She had EA twice before and I forgave her and took her back. But this time she doesn't want to come back. So I am going to make the last sacrifice for her and letting her go. I never forced her to do anything and always let her make her own decisions. But this other guy got involved with a married woman, instigated her against me (I suspect some part of her family too due to their own monetary interests), and is now forcing her to get a divorce as soon as possible. The irony is, she cannot even realize what is good for her in the long run and the tinted glass has made her blind. She told me that she didn't tell me about the OM while asking for divorce because she feared I wouldn't grant her wishes if I knew about her affair.
I hold no grudges against them. I would like to thank the other guy for saving my life. I have got myself back and I have realized that a relationship means give and take and one side giving all the time only weakens a relationship. I forgave my soon to be ex wife three times including this one and if she could show some commitment towards our relationship of 7 years then I was willing to take her back. But she wants to throw this relationship for a six month old fling. I wish them all the happiness of this world and beyond.
I am doing well and really amazed how resilient a person can become in the face of adversities. She was literally my life for the last seven years and that was a very bad decision. Life demands balance and I didn't respect that. I got the punishment I deserve but it turned out to be OK.
So if you are sad, lonely, scared, and desperate, dont't be. Realize what part you played and never make those mistakes again. Commend yourself for being able to love so much that it hurts. Cry and then start laughing. Listen to 'What a wonderful world' or 'Raindrops keep falling on my head', go for a walk, reconnect with friends and family (they love you! really!), exercise, and stop having expectations. Don't be under any illusion to get your ex back. Be thankful for what you had and also for what you didn't get. You are doing a lot better than a lot of people. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Love the whole world. Why waste the capability to love just on one person?
So get out of your world of pain and sorrow and enjoy the sights, sounds, and colors of life. Life is too short to let moments pass by thinking of the past. Be positive, have faith, be good, and do good.
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