Hello all!
I am posting this not because I'm particularly bothered or worried, but rather curious as to what others make of it and if anyone else is the same.
I am a girl, in a LT heterosexual relationship.
However, you could say I was bisexual in a sense, or just really sexual!! Not sure.
Basically, all my fantasies mainly focus on female anatomy, almost from a male pov. Like I'll think of heterosexual sex, but all the excitement about it is from thinking about her body (her butt, her breasts, her mouth, her hair, her pretty face etc) in that act.
Also - I crush on women and find them sexually arousing far more than I do with men. I kind of think that women are almost intrinsically beautiful or sexy, - I thought everyone thought/acknowledged this! A discussion with friends surprised me on that front shall we say (apparently most girls think guys are more attractive).
There's something very erotic about women for me. Like women (of almost all shapes/sizes) have a naturally pleasing form. The other day I got really turned on by Kelly Brooks' breasts in the Juliet video! She was so sultry :$
This would all point to my natural sexual inclinations being toward women, right?
However I am also completely, blissfully happy in my heterosexual relationship (none of this makes me doubt that in any way). I am sexually attracted to and aroused by my boyfriend, we have a great sex life. I've never tried or done anything sexual with a girl so I wouldn't know if I'd like it.
The thing is romantically, I am attracted to men. I've always thought of myself as heterosexual, and have desired heterosexual romance with a guy - but then that is rather what everyone expects and is considered "normal" isn't it?
I've wondered about the reasons for this. My boyfriend is my first love, and we've been together a long time. I'd say when we first starting going out, I hadn't developed much of a sexuality for anyone, and I was a bit nervous of it all. I really fell for him before I started being properly attracted to him (not that he isn't a good looking guy). I never had a major crush on a guy or girl before him.
Now I basically only get (purely sexual) crushes on girls. I think they're hot and might fantasise, but I don't actually want to be with them (the romantic side of things). I've never been "serious" about it. I'm confident I'm not going to fall in love with any of my female friends or anything.
I thought of a few reasons which might be the case:
- I've shut myself off from crushing on any men, because I'm with my boyfriend. Hence my lucky brain focuses on the option which doesn't threaten that (other women whom I'm not romantically interested in).
- I'm attracted to women because they represent my own sexuality - I'm fantasising about myself? (Sounds a little twisted but possible?) I do have a lot of body and sexual confidence. But then, if you feel (like I do) that all women share a natural beauty and are inherently sexy creatures, how could you not feel like a minx? Gotta be honest, my own body sort of turns me on (not because I'm anything special, it's just - boobs!) Though, I haven't heard any gay women saying they feel this (bonus) effect of being attracted to women?
- I've just been exposed to the idea that women are erotic and sensual, and it's sort of caught on and invaded my fantasies. Then I associate those fantasies with arousal - hence I find myself more aroused by women.
- I am just quite a lot gay.
What do others think? Sorry if this is boring haha. I've told my boyfriend about this and it just amused him. He teases and calls me "lessie" (in the nice way, he isn't a homophobe or anything).
Put the internet to work for you.
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