Just one, actually. If you look back in my other posts you'll see that my husband almost completely lacks any kind of sex drive. He's the "I only want it on my time" kind of guy. Problem is, his time is virtually never...
Lately I've been having thoughts of a sexual nature about one of our mutual friends. He's considerably closer to me in age, isn't the most attractive guy on the planet but certainly isn't unattractive either. He's the silly sort with the dorky sense of humor and shares a lot of my personality traits, which is where I think the attraction stems.
Let me make it perfectly clear that I've never acted on these feelings in any way, engaged in a PA with this person or any other, and have never let on that I feel this way. It's rare that I see this person, also.
Now for the stupid question: Do I tell my husband about these thoughts? My reason for asking is I've seen a lot of threads about women or men turning to affairs because their SO is low drive, low T count or used sex as a bargaining chip, etc. I've also seen situations where a man or woman has regretted not putting more effort into the sex/intimacy before it's too late because they've been cheated on or left for another person or their SO doesn't have feelings for them anymore. I just guess I'm wondering if I should tell my husband I'm having these thoughts so maybe he'll realize what I've been trying to verbally communicate to him for a while now. Like maybe he'll realize that him not being intimate or affectionate with me and rejecting me is resulting in my having these sorts of thoughts.
Opinions, please. Personally I feel on the fence about it. It would almost sound threatening to me if I were on the receiving end of it, but then again I think I would want to know if something I was doing was causing this sort of issue. I feel that this is something that could be repaired a whole lot easier than all out cheating, but a part of me feels like I should just ignore these feelings until they go away.
Your thoughts?
Lately I've been having thoughts of a sexual nature about one of our mutual friends. He's considerably closer to me in age, isn't the most attractive guy on the planet but certainly isn't unattractive either. He's the silly sort with the dorky sense of humor and shares a lot of my personality traits, which is where I think the attraction stems.
Let me make it perfectly clear that I've never acted on these feelings in any way, engaged in a PA with this person or any other, and have never let on that I feel this way. It's rare that I see this person, also.
Now for the stupid question: Do I tell my husband about these thoughts? My reason for asking is I've seen a lot of threads about women or men turning to affairs because their SO is low drive, low T count or used sex as a bargaining chip, etc. I've also seen situations where a man or woman has regretted not putting more effort into the sex/intimacy before it's too late because they've been cheated on or left for another person or their SO doesn't have feelings for them anymore. I just guess I'm wondering if I should tell my husband I'm having these thoughts so maybe he'll realize what I've been trying to verbally communicate to him for a while now. Like maybe he'll realize that him not being intimate or affectionate with me and rejecting me is resulting in my having these sorts of thoughts.
Opinions, please. Personally I feel on the fence about it. It would almost sound threatening to me if I were on the receiving end of it, but then again I think I would want to know if something I was doing was causing this sort of issue. I feel that this is something that could be repaired a whole lot easier than all out cheating, but a part of me feels like I should just ignore these feelings until they go away.
Your thoughts?
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