Hi. My husband and I are in our mid-20's, we've been married less than 2 years. Since he was overseas in the military, we didn't get to live together until a year into the marriage. We were still happy, the distance didn't really affect the relationship and it was great, the best time of my life.
When I did move in with him (thousands of miles away from anyone I've ever known), I'd neglected to treat my mental health. Eventually I blew up, anything he did bothered me and I started to write my mother on FB to vent. I said really awful things, blowing things out of proportion. He found the messages and it crushed him. We weren't really speaking and it got so bad for me that I ended up in a psych ward because I was considering ending my life. After that, though, I've gotten help and he's been very supportive, and we agreed to stay together.
It's been 6 months since all this started. Things have gotten better, but there's still a huge distance between us. He doesn't really treat me like a wife, it feels like we are friends living together. He shows no attraction to me, no passion and our sex life is non-existent (we haven't had sex in close to 3 months). He shows more love to his friends and to my dog that to me. I struggle with telling him what I need, trying to regain his trust, the guilt of what I did and the pain of our relationship. My depression has gone into remission but it's coming back, for no other reason than the marriage situation.
I told him all this today. He told me he doesn't know how to act the same as before, that he doesn't know how to get back to that. He said he doesn't know if it will ever happen. He keeps telling me to move on with my life even though I tell him I am, the relationship is all that is messing me up. I don't know what to do. I love him, I want nothing more than to regain what we had but it seems less possible as time goes on. He's going to be leaving for close to a year due to his job, and I'm scared that it's going to kill our marriage.
I don't know what to do, how to fix things, or to just give up and call it quits. My bipolar disorder destroyed my marriage and I have no idea what to do now.
When I did move in with him (thousands of miles away from anyone I've ever known), I'd neglected to treat my mental health. Eventually I blew up, anything he did bothered me and I started to write my mother on FB to vent. I said really awful things, blowing things out of proportion. He found the messages and it crushed him. We weren't really speaking and it got so bad for me that I ended up in a psych ward because I was considering ending my life. After that, though, I've gotten help and he's been very supportive, and we agreed to stay together.
It's been 6 months since all this started. Things have gotten better, but there's still a huge distance between us. He doesn't really treat me like a wife, it feels like we are friends living together. He shows no attraction to me, no passion and our sex life is non-existent (we haven't had sex in close to 3 months). He shows more love to his friends and to my dog that to me. I struggle with telling him what I need, trying to regain his trust, the guilt of what I did and the pain of our relationship. My depression has gone into remission but it's coming back, for no other reason than the marriage situation.
I told him all this today. He told me he doesn't know how to act the same as before, that he doesn't know how to get back to that. He said he doesn't know if it will ever happen. He keeps telling me to move on with my life even though I tell him I am, the relationship is all that is messing me up. I don't know what to do. I love him, I want nothing more than to regain what we had but it seems less possible as time goes on. He's going to be leaving for close to a year due to his job, and I'm scared that it's going to kill our marriage.
I don't know what to do, how to fix things, or to just give up and call it quits. My bipolar disorder destroyed my marriage and I have no idea what to do now.
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