| Married for 34 years and it has been unraveling for a while now. I am not "in love" and am not attracted to him anymore. And frankly I'm bored. He doesn't do much but watch TV (the news) all day long. I've been sleeping on the couch for a long time, for a couple of reasons. One is that I have restless legs and kick in my sleep, and he snores. He's never really said much about me sleeping out there and we'd have "conjugal visits" every few weeks. Well, the last time it really hurt and ever since then I just can't bring myself to do it anymore. He didn't really bring up sex much after that, but a couple weeks ago he took me out for dinner and after we got home it was 11:30 at night and he asked me if I wanted him to take a Viagra. I said "no". That didn't go over too big. But I thought, what kind of "foreplay" is this. Or is this how you show me you love me and want to have sex? Well, tonight the $$$$ hit the fan. We had been watching TV and all of a sudden he started accusing me of being on the internet all the time and reconnecting with an old bf (which I had done). At first I thought "good" - we can finally end this thing. I had to leave for work and I have been inundated with texts from him saying he wants to know what I want and how much he loves me and thought he'd spend the rest of his life with me. And he'll agree to anything I want, and he'll understand if he's not what I want anymore. And that he's been keeping these feelings in for 2 years. I know what I want to do, but I don't want to hurt my kids (in their 30's). I feel bad him telling me how much he loves me but I just don't feel the same. I am thinking about suggesting counseling, but not sure if that's going to change the way I feel or make me attracted to him again. Any advice? |
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