Feel terrible

Hi everyone. well this is not about a relationship, but its a break up of sorts. My best friend has had feelings for me for a long time, we both knew it but we decided to not worry about the future when I would fall in love with someone else and "just enjoy today". She knew I didn't feel the same and said she was happy to just be friends until a day when it ended. she was my best friend but she often made me feel very sad as she was sometimes very cruel to me, my family and my friends, perhaps as she was hurting inside about the situation. I said no to every girl who asked me out for 2 years as i didn't want to lose my best friend. She was more open about it for a few months and we even spoke about what we wanted in another person, she told me about her dream boyfriend and things like that, so I thought she was moving on from what she wanted with me. she even spoke about other guys. Then I met my dream girl, a girl i didn't want to say no to. When I told her I now have a girlfriend she said she'd spent all of this time trying to be what I wanted in the hope I would love her. She said she would stay as friends despite me having a girlfriend in the hope one day we might break up and she would have a chance. she said she would change to be what i wanted, but I had to be honest with her and tell her I don't think that will ever happen and I don't want her to hope for that and change who she is. I just don't feel that way for her. I know its often said but she genuinely felt more like a sister to me. She said as long as i didn't close the door she would try to get through it, but i knew i had to close it as it would hurt her more to leave it open and i just don't feel that way for her. I didn't want to give her the false hope, I think its better to tell them the truth rather than live a lie and play with their heart all that time. I told her she is an amazing person and would be a dream girlfriend for many people its just that i am not able to change what i feel and that one day she will find that person for her she deserves. She was devastated and said she hated me, never wanted to talk to me and that i'd hurt her more than anyone ever had. she deleted me from everything and blocked me too. I don't see her often so we mostly talk online. she spent an hour insulting me telling me how bad i was to her. I kept saying sorry and that she means a lot to me just not in the way she wanted. I feel absolutely awful and can't stop crying, I've lost the best friend I've ever had who genuinely meant lots to me but I also feel terrible for hurting her and the things she said. I knew i had to sacrifice a friendship that meant lots to me as it would save her pain. i once spent a year hoping to get my ex back as she said maybe in a year she would love me again, just to make me feel better in that moment. That year of false hope was the most miserable year of my life and i didn't want to do that to my best friend. But in the end it was her decision to cut me out of her life. I think I did the best thing for her in the long run as much as it hurts her now, I just want to know what others think about how i handled it.

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