Okay, a little back story - My husband and I have been married for 1 year, together for 6. We met on a BDSM website, and that was a big part of our relationship in the beginning. As our relationship evolved, so did our sex life. I found out early on that my husband had some real sexual issues. He was completely addicted to sex. He would randomly seek out women (or men, whichever were convenient) on CL to have immediate sex, watch hours upon hours of porn, and did everything he could to hide everything from me. We went to therapy, and we worked through that part, (a lot had to do with having a baby and him growing up (he was only 20 when I met him)).
However, our sex life is still kinky. That's just who we are. We enjoy threesomes, BDSM, voyeurism etc etc. My husband purchased a strap on a while back and wanted me to use it on him. I have and I like it, and so does he.
However, recently I've become more and more shy in the bedroom. It's getting so bad, that I am tragically paralyzed by fear/anxiety. He wants me to take the lead and use the strap on, but for some reason I can't. I'm afraid that he will think I'm silly, I constantly compare myself to his other sexual encounters, and the little extra weight I've put on since having a baby has done a number on my self confidence.
I just don't know how to get me back. I don't know what to do, or not do for that matter. And I think the biggest problem is the 'taking the lead' part. I'm a true submissive, never a top. And I am honestly struggling with it.
Please help!
However, our sex life is still kinky. That's just who we are. We enjoy threesomes, BDSM, voyeurism etc etc. My husband purchased a strap on a while back and wanted me to use it on him. I have and I like it, and so does he.
However, recently I've become more and more shy in the bedroom. It's getting so bad, that I am tragically paralyzed by fear/anxiety. He wants me to take the lead and use the strap on, but for some reason I can't. I'm afraid that he will think I'm silly, I constantly compare myself to his other sexual encounters, and the little extra weight I've put on since having a baby has done a number on my self confidence.
I just don't know how to get me back. I don't know what to do, or not do for that matter. And I think the biggest problem is the 'taking the lead' part. I'm a true submissive, never a top. And I am honestly struggling with it.
Please help!
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