Hi everyone,
I will try to be as brief with this introduction as possible. First some background.. Married 5 years, together for 12. We have a 10 year old daughter.
My husband and I started having issues about 4 years back. He had alot of "online" affairs. (you know, the ones that he claims never got physical - but for us women, the attachment is worse..) I caught him sexting about 5 different women. 2 of which he said that he met up with but never did anything at all, physical... When I approached him with it, he was calloused. He said that he didn't understand why he couldn't have these things on the side, shut his phone down and come home to his real life. He told these women that he wished I were like them, he compliments them, etc. Told them that it's no wonder that their men don't want them with anyone else....and in the same breath, says that he'd love to see me with another man.... He still doesn't understand why that was so hurtful...
After the last woman (that he began to develop feelings for), I had my own affair. Needless to say, he didn't know what to do with himself, wanted a divorce, etc.
Now here we are, a few years later. We've had our share of ups and downs. He tells me that he's leaving, then he doesn't. Then we get stuck in this toxic cycle... It's horrendous.
He told me that he is leaving at the end of the month. But he hasn't done anything to do so. I told him a few months back that if he kept telling me that, at some point - I am going to WANT him to leave...
and now, this is where I find myself.............
I love my husband but I know that I'm no longer in love with him and I don't want this marriage anymore.. Not like this...........
Am I crazy for feeling this way??? I don't know what to think of this. :crying:
I will try to be as brief with this introduction as possible. First some background.. Married 5 years, together for 12. We have a 10 year old daughter.
My husband and I started having issues about 4 years back. He had alot of "online" affairs. (you know, the ones that he claims never got physical - but for us women, the attachment is worse..) I caught him sexting about 5 different women. 2 of which he said that he met up with but never did anything at all, physical... When I approached him with it, he was calloused. He said that he didn't understand why he couldn't have these things on the side, shut his phone down and come home to his real life. He told these women that he wished I were like them, he compliments them, etc. Told them that it's no wonder that their men don't want them with anyone else....and in the same breath, says that he'd love to see me with another man.... He still doesn't understand why that was so hurtful...
After the last woman (that he began to develop feelings for), I had my own affair. Needless to say, he didn't know what to do with himself, wanted a divorce, etc.
Now here we are, a few years later. We've had our share of ups and downs. He tells me that he's leaving, then he doesn't. Then we get stuck in this toxic cycle... It's horrendous.
He told me that he is leaving at the end of the month. But he hasn't done anything to do so. I told him a few months back that if he kept telling me that, at some point - I am going to WANT him to leave...
and now, this is where I find myself.............
I love my husband but I know that I'm no longer in love with him and I don't want this marriage anymore.. Not like this...........
Am I crazy for feeling this way??? I don't know what to think of this. :crying:
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