Anon as I don't want him or anyone we know to see this (some of our friends are also TSR users) and find out
So yeah. I've fallen in love with my friend and I really don't know what to do about it! The way things are at the moment, it's absolutely destroying me feeling like this and I don't think I can carry on feeling like this and just hoping it eventually goes away.
I'm pretty much certain that my friend doesn't feel the same way about me, which is of course the worst feeling in the world. We met in September, so have been friends for about 6 months or so, and from the moment I met him I thought he was good looking and was attracted to him etc, but as time has gone on and I have got to know him more and more my affection for him has grown deeper to the point I'm at now, where I am completely in love with him. He's gorgeous, he's funny, he's unique - so as you can imagine, someone like that isn't short of admirers. & I really don't think he'd look twice at me in that way. The thing is, near the start of our friendship, he used to say things in messages that I thought were flirtatious/suggestive, like saying he thought I looked good when he'd seen me in town or at a party etc and that as long as I liked him he wasn't bothered, and a couple of his friends have previously made comments before which suggested he liked me, so I thought that ma ybe he was interested in me, and I was about to pluck up the courage to say something/make a move, but I found out that he liked someone else and was going after them so of course, that shattered that.
So I just carried on with the friendship, and with time the flirty messages stopped but we still speak just as regularly. I do sometimes wonder if there's still a small possibility with some of the things he says to me that seem a bit odd, but then I wonder if it's just me hoping that there's a possibility and reading into things. He's also talked to me about other girls he's liked; these are girls that are in our friendship group, but the last time we spoke about this he told me that he wasn't interested in any of them any more.
The feelings I have for him are becoming overwhelming now and I don't know what to do at all. I adore him as a friend, and am so scared that if I made my feelings known it would destroy that and I'd lose him altogether. As I've already mentioned, we are in a friendship group together and I'm worried about the other friends finding out and laughing at me, or going a bit weird because of the history he has sort of had with some of them. I'm friends with one of his sisters as well, and am quite close to his family, so I'm also terrified that it would mess up my relations with them if he reacts badly to my feelings and doesn't want to talk to me any more. He's never had a proper girlfriend before, and even though he's a confident person, I do wonder if that affects things. Sometimes he asks me if other guys we know are good looking which makes me think that he maybe doubts his own attractiveness against other people. These other girls he has been after/had a thing with previousl y are all a lot better looking than me and I'm nothing like them, and I also know that I'm not his "type" - but then, he's not mine, and yet I think he's the loveliest thing I've ever laid eyes on, so I guess that stupidly makes me hold a little glimmer of hope, even though I'm almost certain that he's not interested in me.
I guess I'm potentially asking two things:
1) is there anything I can do that would maybe test the waters to see if he likes me as more than a friend, without making it obvious of my feelings?
2) how can I stop having these feelings for him without ending our friendship?
Any advice that anyone could give would be so appreciated - I can't concentrate on my uni work or anything because I'm torturing myself over it so much!!
Put the internet to work for you.
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