Okay. So I don't know, I'm just feeling so confused right now, I guess. I'm 19, in my first year of uni, and loving it.
When I just turned 16, I got chatting to a girl the same age online and we got really close, and I'm pretty sure I fell in love with her - I've never cared for anybody on that level since, that's for sure, and I have never told anyone else about that. I still think about her, but things happened and she's gone now. That was September 2012. I had one boyfriend, when I was 16-17, who I had sex with a few times but that was it, and since then (so since August 2013), I haven't had any kind of relationship since.
Recently - well, more like the last few months - I feel almost like I'm crushing on pretty much my best friend at uni, and I've been feeling far more attracted towards women in general than men in the last couple of weeks. I've never been in any way involved with another woman in real life, but for months and months I've really wanted to try a few things. Like with said friend - when we hug or are just chilling together but are sat leaning on each other, I feel like I just want to kiss her - which I would never do (unless extremely drunk, perhaps), as I know she's certainly straight.
Also since I've been here, I've been opened up a lot more to gender fluidity etc etc, so maybe that's making me feel more comfortable in thinking these things through. I mean, I don't have a problem if I do turn out to not be entirely straight - my best friend from childhood is a lesbian - but it just feels weird inside of me to have such mixed feelings, when I was so sure the last few years that I was straight, that the online thing was just me being naive and idealistic.
I guess I just needed somewhere to put this. There isn't anyone I feel I can talk to right now about it. If you guys have any advice (if you can actually give any to that!) then I would really appreciate it. :)
TL;DR - I'm having mixed feelings about my sexuality, not sure if it's a phase as such or I may genuinely be taking a fancy to both sexes/my own sex.
Put the internet to work for you.
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