I broke up with my boyfriend for five years in October 2014. It wasn't an amicable break-up.
We became best friends when we met at university in 2009, and became a couple thereafter. We had our ups and downs in those five years, but everything was generally awesome. We clicked. We could tell each other anything- and we both never felt that way about anyone else. We were in love.
It all started going downhill in July 2014. My bf started receiving anonymous messages on Facebook saying that I was cheating on him. I, of course, was not. But then the messages escalated revealing intimate details about our lives- the person sending the messages obviously knew both of us. I guess the fact that the person was correct about the intimate details somehow made my boyfriend think that I must have been cheating too...if that makes sense. Anyway, my boyfriend soon became distant.
In August it was me trying to get things back on track, but my boyfriend made it so hard that we started arguing more and more. My point was that he shouldn't listen to gossip or some malicious person, when up until that point the idea of me cheating (or anyone cheating) had never come up in any shape or form.
Anyway, without meaning to go on and on....my boyfriend became so distant with me that he effectively froze me out. His last form of communication with me was in October 2014- since then I have made numerous attempts to contact him, to try and see him, and it's really been nothing from his end- either no response, or one word answers.Just completely disinterested. I sent him a message detailing how I feel about him and if we could rebuild our relationship, or at least be civil, but nothing. He has effectively frozen me out. Not even a message to say "you're dumped". I ended up sending him a final message last month wishing him well and all the success in his career to gain some form of closure. It was difficult.
Fast forward to now, (and the point of the thread), I've tried to move on. Some days are really good, but others I just feel like crying. I always put a smile on when I go out, and try and force myself to pretend that I am alright and that there are worse things in the world- but sometimes it's not enough. Today was an example of that. I was supposed to go to uni to do some work, and I got there...but as soon as I did I felt so...sad and vulnerable that I decided to come straight home where I put my pajamas on and watched 'Friends' all day. On days like this, it all seems so meaningless, but I know I need to be stronger.
Does it get any easier?
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment