Maybe someone has been in this boat and can offer some suggestions. My wife and I have two children each, boy and girl on both sides. My two children are successful and responsible for the most part and one of my step-children is pretty responsible. All three have pretty good jobs that they've been at for quite a while. Then there is the other step-son.
This step-son, while having a good nature, is bleeding us dry and I just don't know how to stop it and keep the peace. For years this particular child had been coddled beyond the norm and bailed out each time he finds himself in some kind of trouble. We have a house that we acquired when my mother-in-law passed and the step-son has lived there for years paying rent. He lived there early on also to help take care of my aging mother-in-law and did a good job of that, however it seems as though after all the years since her passing people somehow believe he should be given financial breaks for all his helpfulness.
Eventually we had to collect rent if he stayed in the house and I made it clear that enough rent had to be paid to cover the expense of owning it and everyone was in agreement. Well, apparently everyone was in agreement as long as it suited them because the rent paid started becoming less and never on time. Eventually I found that my wife had been making deals behind my back to let him pay less rent and would let him skip payments and not make them up. All the while we were carrying a mortgage on the house that we took out to make improvements.
This situation has existed for quite some time and while the rent payments have gone up some and have been coming more steadily, it is still below what we need to keep the house. We are effectively losing about $500 per month when you do the math. He has since married and my take was that now his new wife could contribute to the rent since she no longer had to pay for the place she was living in and maybe we could start getting into the black on this house. The rent did go up, but not significantly and continues to be paid late or not all of it is paid.
My wife and I get into fights often about this situation because she wants to continue with the coddling of what is now a 37 year old man and I need to make the financial side of this work. She claims I hate the step-son because I want him to pay what he should be paying when he should be paying it. Long story short, I'm labeled the bad guy for expecting adult behavior from a 37 year old.
Let's add to this by saying that we made the offer for he and his new wife to buy the house, but I stood firm on not selling below market value. We're going to take a bath on the house as it is because the money hasn't been there to properly maintain it and it is my opinion that they should not be given a further financial break just because they are family. I might think differently if enough rent was paid on time all these years, but at this point that's my position and I'm sticking to it.
I personally don't believe they will be able to qualify for the mortgage. They certainly don't have the down payment necessary and again I'm not coming up with further funds to help them qualify. What her parents do to help I can't say, but at this point they're probably strapped because they dumped an obscene amount of money into the wedding (yes, money that could have gone toward a down payment... some people just don't get it).
Anyway, I could go on and on about the frustrating aspects of this situation, but in the end I know I'm going to be once again labeled the a demon for taking the position that I have.
This step-son, while having a good nature, is bleeding us dry and I just don't know how to stop it and keep the peace. For years this particular child had been coddled beyond the norm and bailed out each time he finds himself in some kind of trouble. We have a house that we acquired when my mother-in-law passed and the step-son has lived there for years paying rent. He lived there early on also to help take care of my aging mother-in-law and did a good job of that, however it seems as though after all the years since her passing people somehow believe he should be given financial breaks for all his helpfulness.
Eventually we had to collect rent if he stayed in the house and I made it clear that enough rent had to be paid to cover the expense of owning it and everyone was in agreement. Well, apparently everyone was in agreement as long as it suited them because the rent paid started becoming less and never on time. Eventually I found that my wife had been making deals behind my back to let him pay less rent and would let him skip payments and not make them up. All the while we were carrying a mortgage on the house that we took out to make improvements.
This situation has existed for quite some time and while the rent payments have gone up some and have been coming more steadily, it is still below what we need to keep the house. We are effectively losing about $500 per month when you do the math. He has since married and my take was that now his new wife could contribute to the rent since she no longer had to pay for the place she was living in and maybe we could start getting into the black on this house. The rent did go up, but not significantly and continues to be paid late or not all of it is paid.
My wife and I get into fights often about this situation because she wants to continue with the coddling of what is now a 37 year old man and I need to make the financial side of this work. She claims I hate the step-son because I want him to pay what he should be paying when he should be paying it. Long story short, I'm labeled the bad guy for expecting adult behavior from a 37 year old.
Let's add to this by saying that we made the offer for he and his new wife to buy the house, but I stood firm on not selling below market value. We're going to take a bath on the house as it is because the money hasn't been there to properly maintain it and it is my opinion that they should not be given a further financial break just because they are family. I might think differently if enough rent was paid on time all these years, but at this point that's my position and I'm sticking to it.
I personally don't believe they will be able to qualify for the mortgage. They certainly don't have the down payment necessary and again I'm not coming up with further funds to help them qualify. What her parents do to help I can't say, but at this point they're probably strapped because they dumped an obscene amount of money into the wedding (yes, money that could have gone toward a down payment... some people just don't get it).
Anyway, I could go on and on about the frustrating aspects of this situation, but in the end I know I'm going to be once again labeled the a demon for taking the position that I have.
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