Im feeling all kinds of ways right now.
This year, like last year, for his bday i decided to just make the hub a bday cake, sing him happy birthday, alone nothing big because its a weekday, and do something with his fam/frnds over the weekend.
One day before his day, he hinted that he was expecting a surprise party with all his friends, or he was expecting me to invite all his friends over (on the weekday).
Normally i would have done this already, it would have been my pleasure! But I didnt and I dont want to plan it this time. The reason being is because 2 birthdays ago (our first year married) i did throw him a surprise party with his fam, and his friends and he hated it. He had a sour face the whole time, which was rude. Didnt try to at least appear grateful to not only me, but his friends/fam...and he specifically told me he didnt like these kinds of things, especially on weekdays. I was so hurt back then. We didnt talk for days. And i swore to him i would never plan anything for him again since he hates them so much.
Well im sticking to my word now, and now hes making me feel bad that i dont want to plan anything big for him. That hes changed from that time and that hes dissapointed/mad/sad. I told him that if he wants people over, other than his already invited family, he could call them over himself.
I wish I could let go of the resentment or hurt from two years ago, but im having a hard time doing so. Especially when he never goes out of his way to make my bdays a big deal either. We go out to dinner, which is enough for me, but sometimes ive expected lil somehting extra, which didnt happen and i just let it go because I guess i know hes not detail-oriented.
I guess I want to know opinions on my situation...am i wrong...advice...etc
This year, like last year, for his bday i decided to just make the hub a bday cake, sing him happy birthday, alone nothing big because its a weekday, and do something with his fam/frnds over the weekend.
One day before his day, he hinted that he was expecting a surprise party with all his friends, or he was expecting me to invite all his friends over (on the weekday).
Normally i would have done this already, it would have been my pleasure! But I didnt and I dont want to plan it this time. The reason being is because 2 birthdays ago (our first year married) i did throw him a surprise party with his fam, and his friends and he hated it. He had a sour face the whole time, which was rude. Didnt try to at least appear grateful to not only me, but his friends/fam...and he specifically told me he didnt like these kinds of things, especially on weekdays. I was so hurt back then. We didnt talk for days. And i swore to him i would never plan anything for him again since he hates them so much.
Well im sticking to my word now, and now hes making me feel bad that i dont want to plan anything big for him. That hes changed from that time and that hes dissapointed/mad/sad. I told him that if he wants people over, other than his already invited family, he could call them over himself.
I wish I could let go of the resentment or hurt from two years ago, but im having a hard time doing so. Especially when he never goes out of his way to make my bdays a big deal either. We go out to dinner, which is enough for me, but sometimes ive expected lil somehting extra, which didnt happen and i just let it go because I guess i know hes not detail-oriented.
I guess I want to know opinions on my situation...am i wrong...advice...etc
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