Hi new here and just wanted to see what you all think. I am having this problem with my husband where it seems to me that he doesn't want to do anything at all with me. I do everything that a wife is supposed to do for her husband. I give him his space when he gets of off work. I keep a clean house, have dinner ready when he gets home. I also get up in the morning to prepare his lunch and make sure he's got coffee every morning.
I think my problem is this, when he comes home from work he asks how's my day and I do ask how's his day too. He talks a bit for a few minutes at the most 5 minutes. Then he goes to his computer and stays on it until I tell him dinner is ready or I ask him if wants to dinner as it is already getting late. We eat dinner sometimes he talks and sometimes not. We're done with dinner, thanks me for cooking dinner. Goes back to his comp and stays on it a few more hours, at 10:00 gets ready to shower after he's done showering he goes back to computer and stays on until he feels it's time for bed. I do not go and see what he is doing on his computer, as whenever I come around he quickly clicks of off whatever he's doing and goes to news, sports, etc..
Now this has been going on for years and I would ask him why we don't spend time together like the married couples do. He feels that when "we" go to do grocery shopping, pay bills, etc.. that to him that is spending time together, but I don't think it is. To me it is just taking care of things that need to be taken care of and not "quality" time at all. We would argue over this many times and all that I get out of it is a lot of meanness from him and so I try not to bother him too much about it. This has been the way our marriage has been after our first year of being married.(married 10 years)
I am beginning to feel that I do not have a real marriage at all. I am starting to feel very angry and very hurt over all this. Just to be clear we do not have any intimacy or sex at all. I don't know what's going on, everytime I want to talk about it he says, I am just being silly, being a cry baby and that I should grow up and not expect too much from him. He even says that married people do not spend time together, they pretty much do their own thing apart from each other. He also says that if married people do spend time together, then he's sorry, but he's just not that kind of husband.
Thank you for listening.
I think my problem is this, when he comes home from work he asks how's my day and I do ask how's his day too. He talks a bit for a few minutes at the most 5 minutes. Then he goes to his computer and stays on it until I tell him dinner is ready or I ask him if wants to dinner as it is already getting late. We eat dinner sometimes he talks and sometimes not. We're done with dinner, thanks me for cooking dinner. Goes back to his comp and stays on it a few more hours, at 10:00 gets ready to shower after he's done showering he goes back to computer and stays on until he feels it's time for bed. I do not go and see what he is doing on his computer, as whenever I come around he quickly clicks of off whatever he's doing and goes to news, sports, etc..
Now this has been going on for years and I would ask him why we don't spend time together like the married couples do. He feels that when "we" go to do grocery shopping, pay bills, etc.. that to him that is spending time together, but I don't think it is. To me it is just taking care of things that need to be taken care of and not "quality" time at all. We would argue over this many times and all that I get out of it is a lot of meanness from him and so I try not to bother him too much about it. This has been the way our marriage has been after our first year of being married.(married 10 years)
I am beginning to feel that I do not have a real marriage at all. I am starting to feel very angry and very hurt over all this. Just to be clear we do not have any intimacy or sex at all. I don't know what's going on, everytime I want to talk about it he says, I am just being silly, being a cry baby and that I should grow up and not expect too much from him. He even says that married people do not spend time together, they pretty much do their own thing apart from each other. He also says that if married people do spend time together, then he's sorry, but he's just not that kind of husband.
Thank you for listening.
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment