I made a thread before about turning 18 and crap my life is, well quick update, its still the same, worse actually but i've come to terms with being an 'adult' and my childish appearance. But recently, actually today, I heard my mum and aunt talking about me. They were comparing their kids (me and my cousin) were both girls.
My mum said how i was a nobody. How i never go out, never call anyone, never bring any friends home - basicly how unpopular i am. And my aunt responded that she'd wish her daughter (my cousin) was like me. She said her daughter is popular always brings a new friend home, always on the phone, always out late and partying. I just sat in my room crying just feeling really **** about myself and depressed. I find my aunt a sick twisted person now and i used to like her but why would you want me as a daugher, really? A social outkast/reject? Yeah right.
But it hurts worst when your parent describes just how much of a looser you are and whats worst is thats exactly how i'd describe myself.
Honestly when i feel like i'm finally accepting my existance in life something always happens which i usually can't ignore and i fall of the path, sigh.
I need to stop caring about what people think of me and get out there and do something, but its hard. I don't want to wait for uni and come to find i'll still be hopeless.
But where and how do i start? Also has this ever happened to anyone? :(
Sorry for the long post but i just had to vent.
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment