Sorry for the semi long read.
I've been in a relationship with my SO for 5 years. Lately, he's has been talking about marriage – I'm not so sure. I love him but we've had a lot of issues over the years.
- we live together, but I did not want to move in because he is not financially stable. I would help him out financially even before we moved in together. He made it sound as if we would break up if i did not move in with him, at the moment i did not want this to happen so I moved in with him.
- There is lack of trust as cheating has occurred in the past
- He can be a bit controlling and on a few occasions has gotten a bit aggressive
- Financially I was in a better place when I was not in the relationship and feel resentment that he has benefited from the relationship while I have not. My credit score has really taken a hit
- I continues to work on my career while he has had the same Job for 11 years and has no plans to get a new job or move up within his company
- His family is not financially stable, he holds it together and he can only do this with my help, which I resent. I've felt in the past that things aren't fair but his he calls me selfish when I expresses these concerns
Despite the problems the relationship has had I love him. But am afraid that the life that I want will just not be attainable with him, and that I could be better off with someone else. Yet I fears that this is the best that he can do because he has great qualities (caring, great cook, charismatic and handsome) – I honestly don't know what to do. We are currently arguing because he wants me to cover the flight for a trip that his mother is doing to FL, i don't think that I should cover this as it would mean not paying a number of bills- he says that it's a sacrifice we have to make - she has other sons, one of them could help.
I just don't want to get myself in the whole financially even further for love - is this selfish? Am I a bad person for feeling like financially i should ask for more from my partner?
Note - gay couple BTW
I've been in a relationship with my SO for 5 years. Lately, he's has been talking about marriage – I'm not so sure. I love him but we've had a lot of issues over the years.
- we live together, but I did not want to move in because he is not financially stable. I would help him out financially even before we moved in together. He made it sound as if we would break up if i did not move in with him, at the moment i did not want this to happen so I moved in with him.
- There is lack of trust as cheating has occurred in the past
- He can be a bit controlling and on a few occasions has gotten a bit aggressive
- Financially I was in a better place when I was not in the relationship and feel resentment that he has benefited from the relationship while I have not. My credit score has really taken a hit
- I continues to work on my career while he has had the same Job for 11 years and has no plans to get a new job or move up within his company
- His family is not financially stable, he holds it together and he can only do this with my help, which I resent. I've felt in the past that things aren't fair but his he calls me selfish when I expresses these concerns
Despite the problems the relationship has had I love him. But am afraid that the life that I want will just not be attainable with him, and that I could be better off with someone else. Yet I fears that this is the best that he can do because he has great qualities (caring, great cook, charismatic and handsome) – I honestly don't know what to do. We are currently arguing because he wants me to cover the flight for a trip that his mother is doing to FL, i don't think that I should cover this as it would mean not paying a number of bills- he says that it's a sacrifice we have to make - she has other sons, one of them could help.
I just don't want to get myself in the whole financially even further for love - is this selfish? Am I a bad person for feeling like financially i should ask for more from my partner?
Note - gay couple BTW
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment