I told my husband this morning I am officially done with my inlaws. I'm sick and tired of being treated like something they stepped in, and like I'm "less than". I'm bloody well not and they can take a long walk off a short bloody bridge. I've told him that I won't be going to their house anymore (I would NEVER say that he can't go), there'll be no more dinner invites over here, no holiday visits, nothin'. I also said I'd rather that they didn't come here, but if they do I'm happy to go out until they've left.
There's been a few things that have led up to this but two specific instances that occurred in the last few weeks. The latest being this weekend just gone tipped the scales for me and I am now officially done. Unfortunately, my husband now has the exact same situation he had with his first wife - courtesy of his parents.
Of the two specific instances mentioned above, the first was a few weeks ago, we were at their place for lunch with the little person. Hubby took the little person for a walk down to the beach and in the interests of trying to build a relationship with them, I stayed at the inlaws. Well, I kid you not, the MINUTE hubby and (step)daughter left, FIL left the room and didn't return until he heard hubby's voice again - over an hour! MIL and I chatted a bit, the phone rang, she answered it - and proceeded to have a long (at least half an hour) conversation. She ended the call when hubby and daughter returned.
Last Saturday night, we had the family over as it was hubby's birthday yesterday. MIL & FIL ignored the invite, which was sent twice - I had to ask hubby to check that they got it, which they did (that's not the issue btw, I was like, whatever and hoping they wouldn't come). While they were here, both MIL and FIL exuded disapproval the entire time - the food, what I was wearing, what the little person was drinking, my mum's hair, my bro's new girlfriend...everything. FIL was particularly dismissive of me and barely spoke to me. Even hubby noticed. My bro's new girlfriend who met us all for the first time even noticed!! When they drove off hubby exhaled and said "Thank God they're gone. Now it's just your mum, you and daughter...I can relax now".
They came back Sunday to pick up something they left behind and FIL was no better. I offered them a cup of tea and was refused - when hubby came in not 5 minutes later and offered them one they accepted. FFS!!!!
I saw my mum yesterday and she was so upset at the way I was treated, she said the way they were behaving reminded her of our wedding. The entire day they were obviously not happy and their whole attitude to the engagement and the wedding was pretty bad - hubby is still hurting from that.
Over brekky this morning hubby asked how I was feeling and I said I honestly was feeling better and like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I said that I've finally accepted that I'll never have a good relationship with them, they just don't like me and that's on them, I can't do anymore than I have, and that I'm done trying.
So over it. They can get stuffed.
There's been a few things that have led up to this but two specific instances that occurred in the last few weeks. The latest being this weekend just gone tipped the scales for me and I am now officially done. Unfortunately, my husband now has the exact same situation he had with his first wife - courtesy of his parents.
Of the two specific instances mentioned above, the first was a few weeks ago, we were at their place for lunch with the little person. Hubby took the little person for a walk down to the beach and in the interests of trying to build a relationship with them, I stayed at the inlaws. Well, I kid you not, the MINUTE hubby and (step)daughter left, FIL left the room and didn't return until he heard hubby's voice again - over an hour! MIL and I chatted a bit, the phone rang, she answered it - and proceeded to have a long (at least half an hour) conversation. She ended the call when hubby and daughter returned.
Last Saturday night, we had the family over as it was hubby's birthday yesterday. MIL & FIL ignored the invite, which was sent twice - I had to ask hubby to check that they got it, which they did (that's not the issue btw, I was like, whatever and hoping they wouldn't come). While they were here, both MIL and FIL exuded disapproval the entire time - the food, what I was wearing, what the little person was drinking, my mum's hair, my bro's new girlfriend...everything. FIL was particularly dismissive of me and barely spoke to me. Even hubby noticed. My bro's new girlfriend who met us all for the first time even noticed!! When they drove off hubby exhaled and said "Thank God they're gone. Now it's just your mum, you and daughter...I can relax now".
They came back Sunday to pick up something they left behind and FIL was no better. I offered them a cup of tea and was refused - when hubby came in not 5 minutes later and offered them one they accepted. FFS!!!!
I saw my mum yesterday and she was so upset at the way I was treated, she said the way they were behaving reminded her of our wedding. The entire day they were obviously not happy and their whole attitude to the engagement and the wedding was pretty bad - hubby is still hurting from that.
Over brekky this morning hubby asked how I was feeling and I said I honestly was feeling better and like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I said that I've finally accepted that I'll never have a good relationship with them, they just don't like me and that's on them, I can't do anymore than I have, and that I'm done trying.
So over it. They can get stuffed.
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