I wanted to post here to get some insight before I go to the next step, which I think is to approach my wife and suggest we go to a marriage counselor.
We've been together for a few years, and married for one. We don't french kiss at all, which is no big deal to her, but is really important to me. She's the one who 86'd it. When we were dating and early on, we did, and she's a great kisser and we had some pretty long kissing sessions while we were dating! Though some time after, she told me she doesn't like it, that she has an aversion to being wet, which is a bit of a problem since french kissing is...well...wet! (For the record, I've always been complimented as a good kisser: not sloppy, no tongue-shoving)
I've told her a few times that I really miss it, and she just gets upset and says she's stressed out and gives a list of what's on her mind. But no matter when I bring it up, there's always an excuse.
To answer in advance some questions I know will come up, and some additional points:
* We otherwise get along great, are good friends to each other, we have discussions instead of fighting/yelling, no name-calling.
* Sex is mostly initiated by me. In *my* mind, it ranges from routine to very good. I always take care of her when she wants, too, but sometimes she isn't interested in me reciprocating.
* I don't compliment her much anymore. I used to, but she would very often deflect with humor or some comment, making it awkward or ruining the moment, so I stopped.
* We still hold hands and snuggle on the couch and in bed.
* She's not into foreplay at all, and she's not big on being naked, so no nice surprises for me like me coming to bed and finding her without any clothes on. I don't get the no foreplay part. She says she just likes to get right into the good part. As a guy, this initially sounds like a good thing. But now, I see that foreplay is also a form of intimacy, and we're missing that.
* She lets go when she's had a few drinks in her. French kissing is back on the table, she'll hop into bed and take her clothes completely off. It's kind of sad that it takes alcohol to get to this level.
I'd really appreciate any insight. I just don't know what other recourse to take than to see a marriage counselor. Thanks.
We've been together for a few years, and married for one. We don't french kiss at all, which is no big deal to her, but is really important to me. She's the one who 86'd it. When we were dating and early on, we did, and she's a great kisser and we had some pretty long kissing sessions while we were dating! Though some time after, she told me she doesn't like it, that she has an aversion to being wet, which is a bit of a problem since french kissing is...well...wet! (For the record, I've always been complimented as a good kisser: not sloppy, no tongue-shoving)
I've told her a few times that I really miss it, and she just gets upset and says she's stressed out and gives a list of what's on her mind. But no matter when I bring it up, there's always an excuse.
To answer in advance some questions I know will come up, and some additional points:
* We otherwise get along great, are good friends to each other, we have discussions instead of fighting/yelling, no name-calling.
* Sex is mostly initiated by me. In *my* mind, it ranges from routine to very good. I always take care of her when she wants, too, but sometimes she isn't interested in me reciprocating.
* I don't compliment her much anymore. I used to, but she would very often deflect with humor or some comment, making it awkward or ruining the moment, so I stopped.
* We still hold hands and snuggle on the couch and in bed.
* She's not into foreplay at all, and she's not big on being naked, so no nice surprises for me like me coming to bed and finding her without any clothes on. I don't get the no foreplay part. She says she just likes to get right into the good part. As a guy, this initially sounds like a good thing. But now, I see that foreplay is also a form of intimacy, and we're missing that.
* She lets go when she's had a few drinks in her. French kissing is back on the table, she'll hop into bed and take her clothes completely off. It's kind of sad that it takes alcohol to get to this level.
I'd really appreciate any insight. I just don't know what other recourse to take than to see a marriage counselor. Thanks.
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