I've been lurking CWI for quite some time now and find the disparity between where a BS draws the line very interesting.
I think most of you will agree that it is very emotionally draining to live in limbo, a place I am trying to break free of.
One of the most difficult steps is identifying when infidelity becomes a dealbreaker... the lines are so blurry when you still love the person who betrayed you. The dilemma between keeping your self-respect intact or staying to keep your family together is horrible...
For that reason I find myself comparing my situation to BS here and I find the range of what's forgivable very interesting.
For example, a lot of BS state that they are only willing to R because their WS had an EA, and make sure to add that they'd have filed for divorce if it was a PA.
Then there are those who find out it was an EA/PA, and are willing to R but "only because he came clean about everything! If I find out there is any more trickle truth I am gone!"... We all know even the most remorseful WS never comes clean about everything. There will always be a secret about the affair they'll never share with you, and that information is kept secret precisely because the WS knows it would likely be the last nail in the coffin of your marriage.
Other BS are willing to R in spite of horrible behavior from their WS: very little remorse, multiple ONS, long-term EA/PA, prostitutes and even gay hookups.
What puzzles me is that each of these categories of BS always seem to have a line they claim their WS better not cross or else R is off the table... but I've seen it happen here too many times to count and the BS is still there working on R, with another imaginary line in the sand.
I guess I am under the impression that most BS have weak boundaries which allows the WS to walk all over them. All it takes are some empty words and insincere apologies to keep the BS in R.
I'd like your thoughts. BS and WS welcome.
I think most of you will agree that it is very emotionally draining to live in limbo, a place I am trying to break free of.
One of the most difficult steps is identifying when infidelity becomes a dealbreaker... the lines are so blurry when you still love the person who betrayed you. The dilemma between keeping your self-respect intact or staying to keep your family together is horrible...
For that reason I find myself comparing my situation to BS here and I find the range of what's forgivable very interesting.
For example, a lot of BS state that they are only willing to R because their WS had an EA, and make sure to add that they'd have filed for divorce if it was a PA.
Then there are those who find out it was an EA/PA, and are willing to R but "only because he came clean about everything! If I find out there is any more trickle truth I am gone!"... We all know even the most remorseful WS never comes clean about everything. There will always be a secret about the affair they'll never share with you, and that information is kept secret precisely because the WS knows it would likely be the last nail in the coffin of your marriage.
Other BS are willing to R in spite of horrible behavior from their WS: very little remorse, multiple ONS, long-term EA/PA, prostitutes and even gay hookups.
What puzzles me is that each of these categories of BS always seem to have a line they claim their WS better not cross or else R is off the table... but I've seen it happen here too many times to count and the BS is still there working on R, with another imaginary line in the sand.
I guess I am under the impression that most BS have weak boundaries which allows the WS to walk all over them. All it takes are some empty words and insincere apologies to keep the BS in R.
I'd like your thoughts. BS and WS welcome.
Put the internet to work for you.
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