I'm playing devils advocate slightly here, but sometimes I feel people shout "co-dependant" far to easily.
Sometimes, it's like: "If you don't like it, get out. God, you're so co-dependant"
I'm using my situation only as an example to illustrate my point. I've recently been called co-dependant on these forums, this is in no way a backlash against that, I actually think my current situation (which is in the process of being rectified) could be seen as co-dependant. My personal belief is it mostly because I'm lazy. Anyway...
What if I was to say that I like spending my time with someone, I like that person to be with me during exciting times of my life, I like having someone to love and care for. And I'd rather, once I'd picked someone, work through any problems we might have rather than jumping ship every 5 minutes.
I own my own house, am perfectly capable of doing any DIY that needs to be done. I pay my bills, have a good job and have my own support network, family and friends. I've lived independently of my family, financially and geographically since I was 16. I need my own space possibly more than others and I like my own company. Any partners I have are trusted and respected enough to do their own thing.
By wanting someone in my life, someone who isn't perfect and sometimes gets me down, but ultimately makes my life better, because I enjoy having someone in my life, is that wrong? Is that co-dependant?
I see it as I'm giving up some of my time, energy and life for this other person, and that's important. Because if we're not giving our life to people, then what are we giving it to? I volunteer and help people in other ways, but nothing beats the deep connection of a partner.
Someone who knows me, gets me and I can be myself around. Someone I can run ideas by, someone who I can call on for favours and who can be part of my team. And yes, someone to depend on and trust in this blooming hard world.
If it's difficult to leave this person that you've built a life with, grown to know, that you love and care for. Does that make you co-dependant?
I know what co-dependancy is, I just think there are blurred lines and sometimes that the positive parts of loyalty, partnerships and relationships are turned into negatives by some people who over use "co-dependancy"
What do you think? Maybe I'm just so freeking co-dependant that I can't see it!! :lol3:
Sometimes, it's like: "If you don't like it, get out. God, you're so co-dependant"
I'm using my situation only as an example to illustrate my point. I've recently been called co-dependant on these forums, this is in no way a backlash against that, I actually think my current situation (which is in the process of being rectified) could be seen as co-dependant. My personal belief is it mostly because I'm lazy. Anyway...
What if I was to say that I like spending my time with someone, I like that person to be with me during exciting times of my life, I like having someone to love and care for. And I'd rather, once I'd picked someone, work through any problems we might have rather than jumping ship every 5 minutes.
I own my own house, am perfectly capable of doing any DIY that needs to be done. I pay my bills, have a good job and have my own support network, family and friends. I've lived independently of my family, financially and geographically since I was 16. I need my own space possibly more than others and I like my own company. Any partners I have are trusted and respected enough to do their own thing.
By wanting someone in my life, someone who isn't perfect and sometimes gets me down, but ultimately makes my life better, because I enjoy having someone in my life, is that wrong? Is that co-dependant?
I see it as I'm giving up some of my time, energy and life for this other person, and that's important. Because if we're not giving our life to people, then what are we giving it to? I volunteer and help people in other ways, but nothing beats the deep connection of a partner.
Someone who knows me, gets me and I can be myself around. Someone I can run ideas by, someone who I can call on for favours and who can be part of my team. And yes, someone to depend on and trust in this blooming hard world.
If it's difficult to leave this person that you've built a life with, grown to know, that you love and care for. Does that make you co-dependant?
I know what co-dependancy is, I just think there are blurred lines and sometimes that the positive parts of loyalty, partnerships and relationships are turned into negatives by some people who over use "co-dependancy"
What do you think? Maybe I'm just so freeking co-dependant that I can't see it!! :lol3:
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment