Me and my ex finished over six months ago, but we have mutual friends so we see each other time to time.
We ended so badly. Too much alcohol consumed. Him and my friend got way too close. They both tell me nothing happened whilst I was passed out, and I suppose I take their word for it. But I felt so awful. I had a really bad few months, my mum, dad, sister and nephew nearly died with four months. This was the last thing I wanted and I'm ashamed to say it but I really didn't want to live anymore, and seriously considered that day about ending everything.
So you can imagine, he received some very angry texts from me, which he never answered. Which got me angrier, which resulted in more angry texts. He kept telling my mutual friends he doesn't know what he's done and doesn't know why I'm so angry. Said a bunch of other things but never bothered to say it straight to me. Which got me angry.
Last time we saw each other we were very drunk. We had an argument, then we made up, then argued straight after and then I think it was okay again :/ this was three months ago.
Our mutual friends still talk about him to me and mentioned last week he was upset about it all. Now I am and feel incredibly guilty. I blamed him for a lot of bad stuff, like giving me an STD and then literally calling him every name under the sun. I think we are as bad as each other.
I don't want him to think of me badly, or as a bad person. I've only just started to feel so guilty and upset over the things I said to him. Do you think it's worth apologising to him after all this time? I only have Facebook as a source of contact for him, and he rarely uses it so could never read it, or even ignore it! I don't know what I want out of it, I just feel bad that he's upset. What should I do?
He told me the only reason I couldn't be his official girlfriend is because I am too young for him. He is pretty much exactly two years older :/
We ended so badly. Too much alcohol consumed. Him and my friend got way too close. They both tell me nothing happened whilst I was passed out, and I suppose I take their word for it. But I felt so awful. I had a really bad few months, my mum, dad, sister and nephew nearly died with four months. This was the last thing I wanted and I'm ashamed to say it but I really didn't want to live anymore, and seriously considered that day about ending everything.
So you can imagine, he received some very angry texts from me, which he never answered. Which got me angrier, which resulted in more angry texts. He kept telling my mutual friends he doesn't know what he's done and doesn't know why I'm so angry. Said a bunch of other things but never bothered to say it straight to me. Which got me angry.
Last time we saw each other we were very drunk. We had an argument, then we made up, then argued straight after and then I think it was okay again :/ this was three months ago.
Our mutual friends still talk about him to me and mentioned last week he was upset about it all. Now I am and feel incredibly guilty. I blamed him for a lot of bad stuff, like giving me an STD and then literally calling him every name under the sun. I think we are as bad as each other.
I don't want him to think of me badly, or as a bad person. I've only just started to feel so guilty and upset over the things I said to him. Do you think it's worth apologising to him after all this time? I only have Facebook as a source of contact for him, and he rarely uses it so could never read it, or even ignore it! I don't know what I want out of it, I just feel bad that he's upset. What should I do?
He told me the only reason I couldn't be his official girlfriend is because I am too young for him. He is pretty much exactly two years older :/
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