Pages

Search blog and web

Seemingly impossible to find a significant other

I'm not really expecting any responses, maybe this could spark a conversation, just wanted to vent this out really.

I seem to have this problem where whenever I meet a guy, we have amazing conversations for like 6 months, meet in between and stuff, then suddenly they just completely cut-off, or the conversation keeps going and myself or the other person is just trying desperately to keep conversations alive. It seems trivial and childish, but it's annoying when I meet such great matches, but they're the type who just aren't into having an SO because of religion, family interests, etc. Or they just see me as a friend, OR they think I'm not interested and don't try their chances. Now, I know in this modern age as an independent young woman, I should make the first move if I want to, but the thing is, I don't want to put a label on the relationship, I like to gradually go into a nice equal, mutual understanding of a more romantic relationship. (That's too much to ask, isn't it?)

It doesn't help that I have the tendency to be instantly unattracted to someone if I speak to them all day. that's when I start to get a little cold in the way i approach them, possibly because at the back of my mind, I don't want them fancying me because I honestly think I'm not good enough (boohoo, right?), not good enough as in - I have commitment issues, I can't dedicate a majority of my time to one person, I'd get all pissed off and will want to go to a rave or something. I'd be a terrible girlfriend pretty much. And even though i know that I don't know anything about relationships, for some reason I have it engrained into my mind that I do know a lot about relationships and that I'm bad at them.

I just want someone who I can cuddle with and watch 60s movies, play league of legends, have animalistic sex and read with. With the occasional discussion of history and science, none of this lovey dovey **** (yet I want cuddles, my ****ing brain hurts). Is that too much to ask? I think it is and maybe a little pretentious.

TL;DR? I think I'm always being friend zoned, or am I friend zoning? I want a no strings attached, with emotions kind of relationship and my brain hurts from my own nonsense thinking.

IFTTT

Put the internet to work for you.

via Personal Recipe 2629979

No comments:

Post a Comment