I need help. I am 28 years old, dating my husband since 18. We got married in 2008 and he is having his 43 rd birthday next month. The entire years we have been together did he make me feel arousal 1 time. Since we moved in together (upon marriage), the sex frequency went down from 2 times a week down to now once a month (some times we went almost 11 weeks without sexual activity-which means not even oral sex).
So, here is the medical history:
He never lasts more than 5 minutes, average time is 3 minutes.
His T-level is down to the floor as he tested it 3 years ago. His doctor gave me T-gel and he was on it for 9 months-but the sex life did not improve-since he had NO INTEREST even though he said he did want-but I believe he was interested in sex once in the blue moon only not a healthy dose once a week.
So after 9 months on the gel, he complained about it being messy, the doctor then gave him an option of getting the T shots, once every 2 weeks. He was on it for about 6 months and quit because he hated needles.
I brought up my frustration of almost sexless marriage 3 years ago while he was still on the T-gel. I complained none to little oral sex performance and "dry vaginal sex" due to the lack of foreplay-as I said, he made me arousal only 1 time during the last 10 years.
I brought up the same complaints 2 years ago.
And I brought up the same complaints last summer.
And the last 2 sessions of sex (last Nov and Dec), he went to town with me dry.
And I brought up the same complaints yesterday. To my surprise, he remembered he did stimulate me enough before penetration.
So, we talked yesterday. I asked: why have you not made any effort in improving sex? You spend time reading about airplanes, about fixing records, about eBay auctions, but that's all you care about. He said: because I don't want to talk about sex. Because you have always got your finger on this sex thing and I have difficulty dealing with this pressure. The pressure he mentioned here is the 3 times out of 5 years in marriage.
We ended the talk with me saying: Do you know every time I have a bowel movement, there is always blood on the toilet tissues because of that painful dry anal sex we had over 3 years ago? (as I said that, I wanted him to know his lack of research on the internet or sex store for any lubricant gave me chronic anal fissures). He asked: did you not want me to do that (anal sex)? I said: no I wanted you to do it, but I guess no one wants the pain.
The conversation ended there. Following it was tension.
Last night, I moved and slept on the couch after he fell asleep in bed. I was so angry that I could not fall asleep until 4:30 a.m. I was so angry that I could not cry.
What is my problem?:scratchhead:
So, here is the medical history:
He never lasts more than 5 minutes, average time is 3 minutes.
His T-level is down to the floor as he tested it 3 years ago. His doctor gave me T-gel and he was on it for 9 months-but the sex life did not improve-since he had NO INTEREST even though he said he did want-but I believe he was interested in sex once in the blue moon only not a healthy dose once a week.
So after 9 months on the gel, he complained about it being messy, the doctor then gave him an option of getting the T shots, once every 2 weeks. He was on it for about 6 months and quit because he hated needles.
I brought up my frustration of almost sexless marriage 3 years ago while he was still on the T-gel. I complained none to little oral sex performance and "dry vaginal sex" due to the lack of foreplay-as I said, he made me arousal only 1 time during the last 10 years.
I brought up the same complaints 2 years ago.
And I brought up the same complaints last summer.
And the last 2 sessions of sex (last Nov and Dec), he went to town with me dry.
And I brought up the same complaints yesterday. To my surprise, he remembered he did stimulate me enough before penetration.
So, we talked yesterday. I asked: why have you not made any effort in improving sex? You spend time reading about airplanes, about fixing records, about eBay auctions, but that's all you care about. He said: because I don't want to talk about sex. Because you have always got your finger on this sex thing and I have difficulty dealing with this pressure. The pressure he mentioned here is the 3 times out of 5 years in marriage.
We ended the talk with me saying: Do you know every time I have a bowel movement, there is always blood on the toilet tissues because of that painful dry anal sex we had over 3 years ago? (as I said that, I wanted him to know his lack of research on the internet or sex store for any lubricant gave me chronic anal fissures). He asked: did you not want me to do that (anal sex)? I said: no I wanted you to do it, but I guess no one wants the pain.
The conversation ended there. Following it was tension.
Last night, I moved and slept on the couch after he fell asleep in bed. I was so angry that I could not fall asleep until 4:30 a.m. I was so angry that I could not cry.
What is my problem?:scratchhead:
Put the internet to work for you.
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