The way my dad talks about my mum's family really bothers me

Hi My parents are great together but my dad has anger management issues and has almost always had problems with my mum's family. Anyway recently they did something that was really stupid and extremely inconsiderate (not exactly hurtful though) and my dad just lost it. When he was talking to my mum about it he refers to them as "things" instead of showing some respect and also brought up my uncle's divorce which was totally uncalled for. Also a few years ago, he bought up my mum's father who had passed away (and had been at that time) when he was extremely angry which was shocking to me. It was something along the lines of "Is this why that dead man...." I can't even tell you how shocked I was. I just find it unbelievably disrespectful that he would say this. My mum has had some problems with my dad's mum as well but she's never spoken like this. I can understand my dad's anger but I hate how he handles it (or doesn't rather lol) And in all honesty it makes me lose a bit of respect for him which makes me feel guilty. My mum doesn't really say anything during these times even though she's massively hurt because she's worried he'll just get even more angry. He just gets really nasty when he's in that moment and to be honest its kind of stressful dealing with it. I just think would he want ME to be with someone like this that talks about HIM in this way? And what I'm so scared about is I fear I might be becoming normalized to this even though its only happened twice. I don't want to lose sight of how ****ed up this kinda of behavior is and let me future husband act this way. Sorry for the rant but its late and I just needed to let it out. And I'm too embarrassed to talk to my friends about it as I feel they'll judge my dad and I obviously don't want to talk to my mum since she's hurt right now and trying to sleep. Any advice? haha Thanks!

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