Promises..cant keep this one..i feel overwhelmed and confused

Ok...so my husband and I have a great relationship. We do everything together, and our life is great. BUT, he has a fetish with women stuffing and gaining weight on purpose. When we first met, i did not know this until later on. I was and still am so in love with him, that when he asked me to gain a little weight, i said yes. (I know i know). I am embarrassed and dont have anyone to talk to about this, but i have gained just over 40 pounds!!!!! At this point, i want to stop, and i want to just stay how i am. I am not even "fat" looking at all, i hold my weight well...but he wans to keep pushing and obsessing over calories, etc. I had made a promise that i will keep gaining for "us"....but i dont want to. I love him, and i want to make him happy. He gets upset and obsesses even more when i dont eat enough calories. I feel like sometimes thats all he cares about....i just need advice on how to handle this. He makes me feel bad or like a bad wife if i dont go through with my promises. BTW, I just signed up here. Im just in need of good advice...thanks !

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