This is a random thread that I found. I needed to put this out into the world for someone other than my husband and I to discuss to death.
My husband as a child didn't receive a lot of affection. Pretty much nothing. Because of this he never learned. We have definitely met in the middle with this one. (Kissing, holding hands, cuddling on the couch etc.) All is A OK!
But the bedroom, a different story. In all of his 32 years this is a problem women couldn't look past. There for he's been catered to and not taught. Getting him off is what's gotten me off to this point, but now I'm realizing that we're going to have to put in some serious effort to fulfill me because I have a student that's not accepting my teachings. Possibly because I've never had to or maybe I don't understand how. He's not as sexually driven as me and feels a lot of pressure and isn't comfortable feeling vulnerable to me critiquing him. I ask him to slow down, or ask for it more gently. He instantly feels defeated and backs off.
I could continue this pattern of not feeling fulfilled and just satisfying him, but I fear I'll build resentment. He really believes it's a problem that needs to be fixed so I have hope. I just need to take the pressure off somehow. How long do I go feeling undesired? How do I help him understand how to approach me?
Lost
My husband as a child didn't receive a lot of affection. Pretty much nothing. Because of this he never learned. We have definitely met in the middle with this one. (Kissing, holding hands, cuddling on the couch etc.) All is A OK!
But the bedroom, a different story. In all of his 32 years this is a problem women couldn't look past. There for he's been catered to and not taught. Getting him off is what's gotten me off to this point, but now I'm realizing that we're going to have to put in some serious effort to fulfill me because I have a student that's not accepting my teachings. Possibly because I've never had to or maybe I don't understand how. He's not as sexually driven as me and feels a lot of pressure and isn't comfortable feeling vulnerable to me critiquing him. I ask him to slow down, or ask for it more gently. He instantly feels defeated and backs off.
I could continue this pattern of not feeling fulfilled and just satisfying him, but I fear I'll build resentment. He really believes it's a problem that needs to be fixed so I have hope. I just need to take the pressure off somehow. How long do I go feeling undesired? How do I help him understand how to approach me?
Lost
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