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Getting over the last bit.

Hi.

I have been looking for a forum like this as I am trying to get over that my fiancé had an affair. It is my first post so I hope I do following guide lines.

So just by a feeling I found out that she had been cheating on me. It was just a sensation and she did confirm when I asked her. Turned out it was with a colleague of mine.

During long conversations I found out they met twice, but also exchanged texts and photos. Her reasons has changes, but it seems like lack of sex, passion and me being available for her. She told me how she enjoyed it and how everything turned her on. I do know that I should have been more available to her and due to stress our sex life was not good.

After this we have talked, but there is one thing which will not let go. It is the thought and feeling she has enjoyed someone more than me. Like she's told me she never gets turned on without touch, but then again she told me she got turned on by the texts and photos she sent with the other guy. It annoys me to know this and never get a "pat on the back" myself. She says she's never had nettet than with me: I know all aspects of our relationship has improved, but I cannot let go. I've told her. I've told her what I need, but she doesn't seem to have it in her. Just with him.

It is really difficult as we have never been better. It is just in the bedroom. She told me what she needed, andi have followed up, but feels like she doesn't have the same motivation. I understand that compared to the adreanalin rush you get with an affair things wont match up. I understand something new is exciting and that tensions build up. And, of course, the attention as well. She's always been shy and quiet, but this guy got the best out of her.

I just really want some advice on how I can relax, stop worrying and start to enjoy her again. It's great, but it's in the back of my head all the time. Of course, I am trying not to talk to much about it with her for 2 reasons. First I understand she needs a distance and I cannot tell her to make me feel good by saying things to me. The other is that every time we try to talk she isn't able to say anything.

Long post. Lots of venting. Thank you and hopefully there are some constructive ideas out there.

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