Hello everybody. Its been a little while since I have been on here and I have obtained for my self a small problem that I need help with. I'll try to keep it brief.
So, I'm a truck driver that has a run in my local city, and , I love my coffee. I found this great little coffee shop that is $1 cheaper than most other coffee shops. Also, they make point of looking at who comes through the door, and make your coffee before you order it, so that by the time you pay, its ready, cool hey. So what's the problem, I'm getting to that, chill.
The problem is, I have developed a massive crush on one of the baristas, not cool. I didn't notice her at first, but when I did I though, wow, cute blue eyed blond with a hot bod, nice. Then she spoke. She has a French accent. I've got this mad fetish for French women. When they speak with their accents, I go nuts.
Not wanting to lose my new coffee shop, I decided that at the ripe old age of 34, I can handle this. Its just a stupid crush that means nothing. I was wrong. At first, I was just trying to look at her without getting caught, but most of the time, she would look at me and our eyes would meet. Then, she started talking to me more than necessary. Then the other barista made a joke that she wants to hug me. A few other little things have led me to believe that she is interested and that fact had just done a number on me!
At first I started talking to her more, and I started getting two coffees per day. I starting really looking forward to going to get my coffee hoping that she would serve me. This is the sick bit. I actually started teaching myself French so that I can have a connection with her. (boy do I want to connect with her!)
I have realized that I have become obsessed and I feel like I'm falling in love with her, which is completely and utterly absurd! I know nothing about her, bar her name, that she if from southern France, and she has a boyfriend(owner told me). I realized that my efforts were flirting, I was trying to French flirt with her. I found myself visualizing romantic dates with her, stroking her hair, etc etc.
I can't believe how out of hand this has gotten on my behalf. So I have done the only thing I could think of, and not returned to the coffee shop for two weeks now. I have tried to reason with myself using logic. I'm not in love with her, she just excites me, ticks a lot of boxes in the attraction column. I would not want to give up with I have with my wife for her.
The thing is, I'm hurting here. I feel like I'm going through a painful break up. I so want to go back there, and am fighting it every day. I had to make up a lie so I could palm off a job of mine that forces me to walk past the coffee shop to another driver. Also, I have a customer that also uses that coffee shop and he has asked about me going there, since it has been obviously noted my immediate absence. This, is just stupid, but I can't help the way I feel. I know it is empty, but it still hurts.
I have been honest and told my wife about it and she has taken it very well. Made jokes like "we're never eating croissants again!" This situating makes me feel really sad. One, because I don't feel this way towards my wife, two, who else is going to come into my life and turn my world upside down just by batting their eyelids, and three, I want something to happen and don't want something to happen at the same time.
So basically AAARrrRARRRr!
I realized a long time ago that in order to be a good husband and father I have to make a sacrifice. The part of me that wants to be wanted, lusted after, loved, excited, etc etc, I grabbed that part of me by the throat, put two into the back of its head, threw it into a 6 foot pit, and filled it with cement. This stupid sexy French woman, has some how performed cpr/brain surgery and revived that part of me. Why, just why?
How long does it take to forget about someone under these circumstances? What else can I do? I though two weeks and I would be feeling better, but I just want to go back there, even just to look at her again. How pathetic, it's like I'm 13 all over again :/
So, I'm a truck driver that has a run in my local city, and , I love my coffee. I found this great little coffee shop that is $1 cheaper than most other coffee shops. Also, they make point of looking at who comes through the door, and make your coffee before you order it, so that by the time you pay, its ready, cool hey. So what's the problem, I'm getting to that, chill.
The problem is, I have developed a massive crush on one of the baristas, not cool. I didn't notice her at first, but when I did I though, wow, cute blue eyed blond with a hot bod, nice. Then she spoke. She has a French accent. I've got this mad fetish for French women. When they speak with their accents, I go nuts.
Not wanting to lose my new coffee shop, I decided that at the ripe old age of 34, I can handle this. Its just a stupid crush that means nothing. I was wrong. At first, I was just trying to look at her without getting caught, but most of the time, she would look at me and our eyes would meet. Then, she started talking to me more than necessary. Then the other barista made a joke that she wants to hug me. A few other little things have led me to believe that she is interested and that fact had just done a number on me!
At first I started talking to her more, and I started getting two coffees per day. I starting really looking forward to going to get my coffee hoping that she would serve me. This is the sick bit. I actually started teaching myself French so that I can have a connection with her. (boy do I want to connect with her!)
I have realized that I have become obsessed and I feel like I'm falling in love with her, which is completely and utterly absurd! I know nothing about her, bar her name, that she if from southern France, and she has a boyfriend(owner told me). I realized that my efforts were flirting, I was trying to French flirt with her. I found myself visualizing romantic dates with her, stroking her hair, etc etc.
I can't believe how out of hand this has gotten on my behalf. So I have done the only thing I could think of, and not returned to the coffee shop for two weeks now. I have tried to reason with myself using logic. I'm not in love with her, she just excites me, ticks a lot of boxes in the attraction column. I would not want to give up with I have with my wife for her.
The thing is, I'm hurting here. I feel like I'm going through a painful break up. I so want to go back there, and am fighting it every day. I had to make up a lie so I could palm off a job of mine that forces me to walk past the coffee shop to another driver. Also, I have a customer that also uses that coffee shop and he has asked about me going there, since it has been obviously noted my immediate absence. This, is just stupid, but I can't help the way I feel. I know it is empty, but it still hurts.
I have been honest and told my wife about it and she has taken it very well. Made jokes like "we're never eating croissants again!" This situating makes me feel really sad. One, because I don't feel this way towards my wife, two, who else is going to come into my life and turn my world upside down just by batting their eyelids, and three, I want something to happen and don't want something to happen at the same time.
So basically AAARrrRARRRr!
I realized a long time ago that in order to be a good husband and father I have to make a sacrifice. The part of me that wants to be wanted, lusted after, loved, excited, etc etc, I grabbed that part of me by the throat, put two into the back of its head, threw it into a 6 foot pit, and filled it with cement. This stupid sexy French woman, has some how performed cpr/brain surgery and revived that part of me. Why, just why?
How long does it take to forget about someone under these circumstances? What else can I do? I though two weeks and I would be feeling better, but I just want to go back there, even just to look at her again. How pathetic, it's like I'm 13 all over again :/
Put the internet to work for you.
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