I've been divorced for several years. Met and have been dating my current girlfriend for 3 years. I have a 21 year old son living at home and an 18 year old daughter in college. She has a 24 year old daughter living nearby and a 17 year old daughter living at home.
My son and her older daughter know that my girlfriend and I have slept together. Our younger daughters I'm sure know but the girlfriend is very intent on hiding the fact from them. I understand to a "certain" extent. The problem though is that in the last year our kids have unknowingly been putting a strain on our relationship. Her younger daughter now finds any excuse possible not to go to her fathers house (partially her fathers fault). Her older daughter is very dependent on her mother and is at her house FREQUENTLY. My girlfriend is VERY hesitant to go out on dates with me when her younger daughter is at home (which is MOST of the time). Girlfriend does not like to be at my house because she still feels like my home has my exwifes fingerprints all over it. My son, while 21 years old, is not very social. He sits at home when he's not working and expects me to be there too. It sometimes makes me feel guilty to be gone for the day. I try not to let it get to me but.......... ....
So, my life with my girlfriend has become watching TV or having dinner at her house one day each weekend (we live about an hour apart). We hardly ever go out. Have only been intimate once in the past 6 months. I'm trying to be patient knowing that her younger daughter will be going to college next fall (unless she changes her mind) but I'm at my wits end. I've expressed my concerns with her and she always promises that things will change soon but each time there's an opportunity either one of the kids interferes or instead of her putting her foot down, she gives in and ends up cancelling our time together or at the very least we end up with her daughters.
Not sure at this point what to do or say. Any suggestions?
My son and her older daughter know that my girlfriend and I have slept together. Our younger daughters I'm sure know but the girlfriend is very intent on hiding the fact from them. I understand to a "certain" extent. The problem though is that in the last year our kids have unknowingly been putting a strain on our relationship. Her younger daughter now finds any excuse possible not to go to her fathers house (partially her fathers fault). Her older daughter is very dependent on her mother and is at her house FREQUENTLY. My girlfriend is VERY hesitant to go out on dates with me when her younger daughter is at home (which is MOST of the time). Girlfriend does not like to be at my house because she still feels like my home has my exwifes fingerprints all over it. My son, while 21 years old, is not very social. He sits at home when he's not working and expects me to be there too. It sometimes makes me feel guilty to be gone for the day. I try not to let it get to me but.......... ....
So, my life with my girlfriend has become watching TV or having dinner at her house one day each weekend (we live about an hour apart). We hardly ever go out. Have only been intimate once in the past 6 months. I'm trying to be patient knowing that her younger daughter will be going to college next fall (unless she changes her mind) but I'm at my wits end. I've expressed my concerns with her and she always promises that things will change soon but each time there's an opportunity either one of the kids interferes or instead of her putting her foot down, she gives in and ends up cancelling our time together or at the very least we end up with her daughters.
Not sure at this point what to do or say. Any suggestions?
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