As some of you will know from my previous posts things are not so healthy in my relationship. For those who don't know: We've been together around 6 years, are both in our 30s, she has a child (14) from a previous relationship, and we have lived together for about 4 years. Yes, we have problems (she's jealous and controlling; I'm dependent, a door mat, and an approval seeker).
It was her sons birthday this week. We both got up early to make a breakfast before I went to work that would include her parents, sister and of course the star guest, the birthday boy: her son. Note: My parents live in another country and so wouldn't be there.
Her son was still asleep while we laid out the table. From the moment the alarm had gone off I could tell she was stressed. She always gets stressed at these kind of events, especially when her parents come over.
I can't remember the exact things she said but from the start everything I did or asked was met with some kind of acidic/icy/sarcastic/cold response. I resisted the urge to respond in kind and got on with helping.
Unfortunately, she snapped (because I asked her which plate she would like me to put some sliced tomato on!), and told me to go back to bed because I have a problem helping her. What!? I was fine helping her! I then asked if I should collect some bread from our local bakery only to be told that she would go and didn't need my help. So... I asked again, was met with more negativity and decided to go and lie on the bed. She then told me to go f*** myself or something and proceeded to insult me by "using my parents against me again" (often done), to insult me. Something about how my dad behaves. She knows these kind of insults get under my skin. At this point, I was so wound up, I lost it. I regret it, I should have stayed calm, walked away, but I told her to f*** off and stop being nasty. She then said something else that was nasty and I dropped the b**** word saying something like "you b****".
Of course that was it. I was told to go to work and not stay for the breakfast. I regained my calm. apologised, said that I would love to stay for the breakfast for her son, but was told many times to go. So I went.
Now it's the next day. Last night, she was obviously (and understandably) angry with me and insisted I sleep on the couch. No one has ever called her "a b***" before and for her this is an extremely serious disturbing thing to insult a woman with. During the night (around 0100-0200) she insisted the light stay on and she listened to music on her laptop (the same song for 4 times) making it next to impossible for me to sleep. And reminding me of forms of torture! At some point she went to bed, leaving the light on and me to get up and turn it off and finally get to sleep. on the couch.
The following morning (today), she was suddenly all sweet and gave me a cuddle and said she missed me last night when I went to work. But then... when I called her from work later, she was frosty, acidic, and though I tried to make conversation was only answered with "yes" and "no" and silence. I apologized (again). She said that my behavior is making her not care about me anymore and that I have a behavioral problem and anger problem.
I know that calling someone a b**** is terrible. I regret calling her that. But to be honest, I think she is behaving like a b****. What do you think?
It was her sons birthday this week. We both got up early to make a breakfast before I went to work that would include her parents, sister and of course the star guest, the birthday boy: her son. Note: My parents live in another country and so wouldn't be there.
Her son was still asleep while we laid out the table. From the moment the alarm had gone off I could tell she was stressed. She always gets stressed at these kind of events, especially when her parents come over.
I can't remember the exact things she said but from the start everything I did or asked was met with some kind of acidic/icy/sarcastic/cold response. I resisted the urge to respond in kind and got on with helping.
Unfortunately, she snapped (because I asked her which plate she would like me to put some sliced tomato on!), and told me to go back to bed because I have a problem helping her. What!? I was fine helping her! I then asked if I should collect some bread from our local bakery only to be told that she would go and didn't need my help. So... I asked again, was met with more negativity and decided to go and lie on the bed. She then told me to go f*** myself or something and proceeded to insult me by "using my parents against me again" (often done), to insult me. Something about how my dad behaves. She knows these kind of insults get under my skin. At this point, I was so wound up, I lost it. I regret it, I should have stayed calm, walked away, but I told her to f*** off and stop being nasty. She then said something else that was nasty and I dropped the b**** word saying something like "you b****".
Of course that was it. I was told to go to work and not stay for the breakfast. I regained my calm. apologised, said that I would love to stay for the breakfast for her son, but was told many times to go. So I went.
Now it's the next day. Last night, she was obviously (and understandably) angry with me and insisted I sleep on the couch. No one has ever called her "a b***" before and for her this is an extremely serious disturbing thing to insult a woman with. During the night (around 0100-0200) she insisted the light stay on and she listened to music on her laptop (the same song for 4 times) making it next to impossible for me to sleep. And reminding me of forms of torture! At some point she went to bed, leaving the light on and me to get up and turn it off and finally get to sleep. on the couch.
The following morning (today), she was suddenly all sweet and gave me a cuddle and said she missed me last night when I went to work. But then... when I called her from work later, she was frosty, acidic, and though I tried to make conversation was only answered with "yes" and "no" and silence. I apologized (again). She said that my behavior is making her not care about me anymore and that I have a behavioral problem and anger problem.
I know that calling someone a b**** is terrible. I regret calling her that. But to be honest, I think she is behaving like a b****. What do you think?
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