I have given up. Been together about 8 years and he (or should I say we?) has suffered from a pretty extreme case of ED the whole time. In the beginning, it didn't get in the way as we found other ways to make each other happy, but as the honeymoon phase wore off....that has stopped entirely. Months, years even with no sexual activity at all. He has had a prescription for Cialis for quite a while, just never takes it.
He has a porn habit, which I believe is a full blown addiction. He won't address it, doesn't understand how it makes me feel that he obviously is interested in sex, just not in having it with me. I also caught him having a very inappropriate FB conversation with a female friend of his. That crushed me. The last discussion we had about it, he asked me "would you rather be loved and cherished or f*cked"? I just gave up then and told him to do whatever he wants I don't care anymore. I am tired of dealing with the whole thing. He can flirt with anybody he wants. look at anybody and anything he wants. I am done.
I have resigned myself to never having a fulfilling intimate relationship. And it breaks my heart.
Slowly but surely, I can feel myself detaching from him. This morning he asked me for a kiss and I obliged and I realized that probably over the past couple of months any affection we have had, he has literally had to ask for it. Can I have a hug? Can I have a kiss? Didn't use to be that way, even without the sex we were affectionate. Now it just doesn't even occur to me to give him so much as a good night kiss. I find myself working late when I don't need to, staying at the gym until I have run myself ragged, running unnecessary errands...all just to keep from being at home. It wasn't that long ago that I couldn't wait to get home just to see him. When I am home I am usually in the bedroom with the door closed watching tv by myself or finding things to keep busy to avoid spending time with him. It is a very depressing way to live.
I am not particularly looking for advice here, mostly just need to get it off my chest. I have no one to talk to about it.
He has a porn habit, which I believe is a full blown addiction. He won't address it, doesn't understand how it makes me feel that he obviously is interested in sex, just not in having it with me. I also caught him having a very inappropriate FB conversation with a female friend of his. That crushed me. The last discussion we had about it, he asked me "would you rather be loved and cherished or f*cked"? I just gave up then and told him to do whatever he wants I don't care anymore. I am tired of dealing with the whole thing. He can flirt with anybody he wants. look at anybody and anything he wants. I am done.
I have resigned myself to never having a fulfilling intimate relationship. And it breaks my heart.
Slowly but surely, I can feel myself detaching from him. This morning he asked me for a kiss and I obliged and I realized that probably over the past couple of months any affection we have had, he has literally had to ask for it. Can I have a hug? Can I have a kiss? Didn't use to be that way, even without the sex we were affectionate. Now it just doesn't even occur to me to give him so much as a good night kiss. I find myself working late when I don't need to, staying at the gym until I have run myself ragged, running unnecessary errands...all just to keep from being at home. It wasn't that long ago that I couldn't wait to get home just to see him. When I am home I am usually in the bedroom with the door closed watching tv by myself or finding things to keep busy to avoid spending time with him. It is a very depressing way to live.
I am not particularly looking for advice here, mostly just need to get it off my chest. I have no one to talk to about it.
Put the internet to work for you.
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