Hello all. This is a follow up from my last post about not knowing how to be erotic. I have discovered I'm asexual.
I was reading an article last night and it was like a lighbulb going off. Like an epiphany. It was suddenly all so clear. It was going over the signs of asexuality. I fit 90% of them.
I have been off sexually for all my adult life. I just thought I needed a sexual awakening or to tap into that part of myself or I haven't met the right person. But I now know that is not the case. It is an actual sexual orientation that affects less than 1% of the population. I was hoping it was some disease or disorder that I could work on with therapy or with a pill, but now I know that I'm wired this way, it's in my chemistry.
Some specific signs I connected with greatly:
U don't find people hot or sexy. Maybe aesthetically pleasing or pleasant to look at, but u don't get a physical feeling of arousal that radiates through your body.
U dont masturbate or initate sex. U may enjoy sex and even like the feeling and get pleasure from the actual act, but it tends to be for other reasons. For me, its emotional. U have a take it or leave it attitude and don't care to evolve sexually.
U have always thought u were straight by default. U never thought about what you likes enough to really consider it and I don't feel a pull either way.
Porn is amusing to u or u get bored by it.
U misunderstand cues and can't tell when someone is flirting with u or if you flirting with them. May not know what flirting is.
Etc...
So what do I do now? My husband has always know that I was different or that something was off, but he didn't know what. Now we know and its a relief, but also scary. He has needs and desires that I don't think I can actually fulfill. He says its nice to know he's not crazy and that his yearning for something more sexually all this time has an explanation.
I feel like there's only two options: open marriage or divorce. We are newlyweds and this just shouldnt be happening! I've discovered this too late and now my life is turned upside down. We have a good relationship is every other way and want to be married and together, but what options do we have?
Please help me as I'm scared and lost. I feel like a freak of nature.
The problem is I have no real desire to do something about it, which is typical of asexuals. It does not bother me much and feels fine to me, but I know it negatively affects my marriage. I have tried to be more sexual, but I just can't bring myself to do what I know I would have to.
I was reading an article last night and it was like a lighbulb going off. Like an epiphany. It was suddenly all so clear. It was going over the signs of asexuality. I fit 90% of them.
I have been off sexually for all my adult life. I just thought I needed a sexual awakening or to tap into that part of myself or I haven't met the right person. But I now know that is not the case. It is an actual sexual orientation that affects less than 1% of the population. I was hoping it was some disease or disorder that I could work on with therapy or with a pill, but now I know that I'm wired this way, it's in my chemistry.
Some specific signs I connected with greatly:
U don't find people hot or sexy. Maybe aesthetically pleasing or pleasant to look at, but u don't get a physical feeling of arousal that radiates through your body.
U dont masturbate or initate sex. U may enjoy sex and even like the feeling and get pleasure from the actual act, but it tends to be for other reasons. For me, its emotional. U have a take it or leave it attitude and don't care to evolve sexually.
U have always thought u were straight by default. U never thought about what you likes enough to really consider it and I don't feel a pull either way.
Porn is amusing to u or u get bored by it.
U misunderstand cues and can't tell when someone is flirting with u or if you flirting with them. May not know what flirting is.
Etc...
So what do I do now? My husband has always know that I was different or that something was off, but he didn't know what. Now we know and its a relief, but also scary. He has needs and desires that I don't think I can actually fulfill. He says its nice to know he's not crazy and that his yearning for something more sexually all this time has an explanation.
I feel like there's only two options: open marriage or divorce. We are newlyweds and this just shouldnt be happening! I've discovered this too late and now my life is turned upside down. We have a good relationship is every other way and want to be married and together, but what options do we have?
Please help me as I'm scared and lost. I feel like a freak of nature.
The problem is I have no real desire to do something about it, which is typical of asexuals. It does not bother me much and feels fine to me, but I know it negatively affects my marriage. I have tried to be more sexual, but I just can't bring myself to do what I know I would have to.
Put the internet to work for you.
| |
| Recommended for you |
No comments:
Post a Comment