My husband of 18 years and I separated almost two weeks ago. I am devastated. He has Ptsd and was sexually abused by a leader of his church from 14-16 years of age. He has been in treatment for three years and has made some progress. In the meantime I have been left emotionally the entire time by him. I have listened, cried for him, encouraged him. We have also fought and hurt each other. He has told me that he wasn't "in love" with me. He left for a week (I asked him to), came back and stated he was depressed and didnt mean it. That was two years ago. We have basically been I a sexless marriage for these three years. Sex has always been a difficult topic for us due to his history of sexual abuse. Almost two weeks ago he calmly and flatly told me in a cathartic moment that he couldn't give love or receive love and that wouldn't change. He has never been sexually attracted to me or anybody and that wouldn't change. He denies being homosexual an d I believe him. He knows I am beautiful but doesn't find me sexuall attractive. I was crushed by this as he has always stated he does desire me sexually and loves me. I asked him to leave. I stated that I didn't want a divorce but I was hurt deeply. He had his testosterone levels checked and they are very low. This coupled with his mental health issues paint a clearer picture of his lack of sexual desire.
Since that time he has turned very cold toward me and is wanting to divorce. He feels our issues are not repairable and that I am incapable of change. He is very (rightly) angry that I asked him to leave. I have stated my deep regret over asking him to leave but he doesn't want to hear me. We have gone to a counseling session and will go again this week. I am at a loss. My children are hurt. He's hurt and I am hurt. I believe these issues are fixable but only if both are willing to work. He isn't willing to meet me halfway he says at this point. I am a good wife, faithful, loving, and caring. I am not sure how to proceed at this point. Anything I say drives him further way. Help
Since that time he has turned very cold toward me and is wanting to divorce. He feels our issues are not repairable and that I am incapable of change. He is very (rightly) angry that I asked him to leave. I have stated my deep regret over asking him to leave but he doesn't want to hear me. We have gone to a counseling session and will go again this week. I am at a loss. My children are hurt. He's hurt and I am hurt. I believe these issues are fixable but only if both are willing to work. He isn't willing to meet me halfway he says at this point. I am a good wife, faithful, loving, and caring. I am not sure how to proceed at this point. Anything I say drives him further way. Help
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