Hey everyone!
I'm back! It's been awhile since I posted on these forums, but I felt it was time I come back and hopefully can get some good advice that will either save my marriage or help me move on.
I don't know if anyone remembers me, but I had a lot of issues recently with my wife and her general contempt for my gaming habits and my seeming inability to keep things clean/tidy to her standard.
One of the things you might remember is when she went away for a week and came back to an apartment that was only partially cleaned. I had a bit of a mess in my room from shipping some of old hobby/games away and dinner wasn't ready and waiting for her. You can read more about that here... posting link soon.
In a way, things have gotten better and worse at the same time.....
The Good?
-She went out of town again near the end of July. This time, I actually put forth serious effort to have the house nice and clean and even left work early to try and plan a "romantic" surprise by buying her flowers. When she got home, she didn't complain that much (like last time), but she also didn't seem to be all that thrilled about the flowers I bought (it was a very subdued thanks).
-Since then, we've also discussed moving to CA together, bringing her parents here from the Philippines, etc.
-She no longer seems to care if I go out and hang out with fellow gamers on Friday night, in fact, sometimes she encourages it. Even on nights when I intend to stay home and spend the Friday evening with her, she'll often ask "Aren't you going to play tonight? You can still go, it's not too late!" or she'll ask if I want to go out and "play". In a way, this is nice because it gives me time to enjoy hobbies and have fun with people who have similar interests, try to make new friends, socialize, have fun, etc. She says she used to it and says she enjoys being alone now and she's "used to it"....
She also pushes me to go the gym (which is good, because I signed up for a membership, but procrastinate actually going to the gym).
We have good days where we laugh, talk about our days at work, go out Paddleboarding, shopping or whatever..
The Sad and the Ugly.
-She feels extremely sad and emotionally dead in our relationship. I can't kiss, hug, caress or barely touch her without her getting annoyed and pushing me away. The only times I can even cuddle with her is when she's asleep and doesn't resist. One of my main love languages is touch, and I really can't help myself, especially when she's actually in a happy/good mood--I just find her irresistible when it comes to hugging/smelling her hair or some form of physical contact.
-Whenever she "lets" me hug her, it's one of those hugs where you late a person hug you, but you don't really want to return the embrace. She'll lean it, arms at her side, etc.
-After returning from Cali this time, she said I should have just stayed at work and I didn't need to try and make things nice for since she's "used" to it. She also said she had a great, fun time there, but dreaded coming back to our house and our messed up relationship. She also said she felt like moving there, living with her family in Cali and starting over.
We've discussed separating for a short period of time (like a few weeks to a month). She wants to feel less stressed out and "free". It seems like no matter what I do, she'll become annoyed or frustrated with something I do. Not necessarily everyday, but it seems like several times a week, I'll do something that bothers her. I think she feels that separating may give her to collect her thoughts, figure out what she wants to do with her life and our relationship and who knows, maybe reset her mood and maybe she'll even want to make our relationship work again.
I'm back! It's been awhile since I posted on these forums, but I felt it was time I come back and hopefully can get some good advice that will either save my marriage or help me move on.
I don't know if anyone remembers me, but I had a lot of issues recently with my wife and her general contempt for my gaming habits and my seeming inability to keep things clean/tidy to her standard.
One of the things you might remember is when she went away for a week and came back to an apartment that was only partially cleaned. I had a bit of a mess in my room from shipping some of old hobby/games away and dinner wasn't ready and waiting for her. You can read more about that here... posting link soon.
In a way, things have gotten better and worse at the same time.....
The Good?
-She went out of town again near the end of July. This time, I actually put forth serious effort to have the house nice and clean and even left work early to try and plan a "romantic" surprise by buying her flowers. When she got home, she didn't complain that much (like last time), but she also didn't seem to be all that thrilled about the flowers I bought (it was a very subdued thanks).
-Since then, we've also discussed moving to CA together, bringing her parents here from the Philippines, etc.
-She no longer seems to care if I go out and hang out with fellow gamers on Friday night, in fact, sometimes she encourages it. Even on nights when I intend to stay home and spend the Friday evening with her, she'll often ask "Aren't you going to play tonight? You can still go, it's not too late!" or she'll ask if I want to go out and "play". In a way, this is nice because it gives me time to enjoy hobbies and have fun with people who have similar interests, try to make new friends, socialize, have fun, etc. She says she used to it and says she enjoys being alone now and she's "used to it"....
She also pushes me to go the gym (which is good, because I signed up for a membership, but procrastinate actually going to the gym).
We have good days where we laugh, talk about our days at work, go out Paddleboarding, shopping or whatever..
The Sad and the Ugly.
-She feels extremely sad and emotionally dead in our relationship. I can't kiss, hug, caress or barely touch her without her getting annoyed and pushing me away. The only times I can even cuddle with her is when she's asleep and doesn't resist. One of my main love languages is touch, and I really can't help myself, especially when she's actually in a happy/good mood--I just find her irresistible when it comes to hugging/smelling her hair or some form of physical contact.
-Whenever she "lets" me hug her, it's one of those hugs where you late a person hug you, but you don't really want to return the embrace. She'll lean it, arms at her side, etc.
-After returning from Cali this time, she said I should have just stayed at work and I didn't need to try and make things nice for since she's "used" to it. She also said she had a great, fun time there, but dreaded coming back to our house and our messed up relationship. She also said she felt like moving there, living with her family in Cali and starting over.
We've discussed separating for a short period of time (like a few weeks to a month). She wants to feel less stressed out and "free". It seems like no matter what I do, she'll become annoyed or frustrated with something I do. Not necessarily everyday, but it seems like several times a week, I'll do something that bothers her. I think she feels that separating may give her to collect her thoughts, figure out what she wants to do with her life and our relationship and who knows, maybe reset her mood and maybe she'll even want to make our relationship work again.
Put the internet to work for you.
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