I just joined this site to vent. Perhaps to find some answers. Or support. Or… I don't know. Maybe to be told I'm a jerk.
I was pretty closed off the first 3 years of our marriage.
Like a lot of couples we started off by having sex a few times a week, which diminished over the years. During the worst period we were having sex about once a month. Sometime around the third year she had enough of my emotional distance. This lead to a big fight while out of town. Then, in a fluke, she disciplined me during some light kink play. This really opened me up. I went from sitting on the couch and watching TV as she went to bed, to writing love notes and doting on her like a puppy.
I really try and think of my wife often. I cook breakfast every morning . I leave loves notes for her every day. I split the chores around the house. I try and call her at work, (because she wines if I don't), but then she just complains or snaps at me. Doing for has led me to want her more and more. Yet I hit a wall and it hurts. Inside I feel real pain when dealing with her.
For the next three years she participated in the light discipline, but our sex life stayed pretty stagnant. At some point I noticed that I was hitting a wall with her. She had been raped in her early teens and she was emotionally and sexually closed off. Opening my emotions up to someone who is emotionally closed off has led me into some pretty dark depression. I feel the best thing for me to do is to close back off.
I love my wife. I appreciate her as a mother. She is a hard worker. She has worked on her sexual issues a bit. We have sex a few times a month. But she is still VERY uncomfortable in the bedroom. It's all me in that area. She doesn't do blow jobs. She isn't aggressive. She can't initiate. She refuses to try anal sex. She has never masturbated and never will. She gets mad went I mention doing stuff or makes a half ass effort.
I asked that she do anal stuff to me, (Like Bend Over Boyfriend) but that has been the battle from hell. I can be a bit of a pervert in bed. However, I've never asked for the perve stuff every time. I just want to be able to do some of the perve stuff every few months. (To be clear, I would never demand performing anal sex on her.) Some of the perve stuff falls in line with femdom stuff. Femdom has never been a primary drive in terms of sexuality, but as I started hitting one wall after another I began to focus more on this type of bedroom play.
Six years into the marriage and she spends more time focused on those damn ipad games then she does on me. I could write a hundred, "I love you," notes and never receive one in turn.
Is it wrong of me to want my own room? I just want a place I can feel comfortable at night. Beyond the sex stuff, she is very demanding of my time. I've reached the point where, I don't think it's fair for her to demand so much of my time and energy yet draw a hard line in the bedroom.
It sucks. If this woman wasn't my spouse she be a pretty great person. That's the freaking irony. She is so much better then me in so many areas of life. Yet, emotionally and sexually, she is a dud.
I was pretty closed off the first 3 years of our marriage.
Like a lot of couples we started off by having sex a few times a week, which diminished over the years. During the worst period we were having sex about once a month. Sometime around the third year she had enough of my emotional distance. This lead to a big fight while out of town. Then, in a fluke, she disciplined me during some light kink play. This really opened me up. I went from sitting on the couch and watching TV as she went to bed, to writing love notes and doting on her like a puppy.
I really try and think of my wife often. I cook breakfast every morning . I leave loves notes for her every day. I split the chores around the house. I try and call her at work, (because she wines if I don't), but then she just complains or snaps at me. Doing for has led me to want her more and more. Yet I hit a wall and it hurts. Inside I feel real pain when dealing with her.
For the next three years she participated in the light discipline, but our sex life stayed pretty stagnant. At some point I noticed that I was hitting a wall with her. She had been raped in her early teens and she was emotionally and sexually closed off. Opening my emotions up to someone who is emotionally closed off has led me into some pretty dark depression. I feel the best thing for me to do is to close back off.
I love my wife. I appreciate her as a mother. She is a hard worker. She has worked on her sexual issues a bit. We have sex a few times a month. But she is still VERY uncomfortable in the bedroom. It's all me in that area. She doesn't do blow jobs. She isn't aggressive. She can't initiate. She refuses to try anal sex. She has never masturbated and never will. She gets mad went I mention doing stuff or makes a half ass effort.
I asked that she do anal stuff to me, (Like Bend Over Boyfriend) but that has been the battle from hell. I can be a bit of a pervert in bed. However, I've never asked for the perve stuff every time. I just want to be able to do some of the perve stuff every few months. (To be clear, I would never demand performing anal sex on her.) Some of the perve stuff falls in line with femdom stuff. Femdom has never been a primary drive in terms of sexuality, but as I started hitting one wall after another I began to focus more on this type of bedroom play.
Six years into the marriage and she spends more time focused on those damn ipad games then she does on me. I could write a hundred, "I love you," notes and never receive one in turn.
Is it wrong of me to want my own room? I just want a place I can feel comfortable at night. Beyond the sex stuff, she is very demanding of my time. I've reached the point where, I don't think it's fair for her to demand so much of my time and energy yet draw a hard line in the bedroom.
It sucks. If this woman wasn't my spouse she be a pretty great person. That's the freaking irony. She is so much better then me in so many areas of life. Yet, emotionally and sexually, she is a dud.
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment