I am really bothered by what I tell my children .
Brief summary . It is not affair cheating but financial cheating by my ex H and physical abuse which was witnessed by my children 3 times . The last time was my my last straw and after much consideration and delay and separation , I filed . divorce is over and financial fights are still ongoing . He lied and still lying about financial issues. He constantly get into debts over his and his parents and his sisters shopping and spending . or maybe for another woman I don't know about although I suspected no OW .
Anyway , I told kids the truth without specifying the details and amount of money . My kids are 8 and 10 and pretty smart kids . They do ask and they saw the father hit me and heard the shouts so they roughly know the storyline . They just wanted know more details and I answered them .
Going forward a little , I had to explain that the father is not sending money over while he splurge on himself and on Saturday access on them as he is trying to buy their favour . While I am saving and living simple life ( which is pretty decent as I do have a decent income ) as I had to carry the entire financial burden at home , he is living it up and showing the good life to the kids on Saturday , while he is in debt . Until court order is finalized , I cant bring him to court for no support .
I do tell my kids his life style is wrong n not real . I really don't want my kids to grow up like him .
sometimes I wonder if I am wrong . but I believe the truth is better . at times , my son will wonder if not for them , if I would then not have money issues and burden . so I have to explain that I have no issues supporting and feeding my children and that is my duty but it was the father's fault and the in laws's fault wrt money . I teach them to be more mindful of expenditure .
Brief summary . It is not affair cheating but financial cheating by my ex H and physical abuse which was witnessed by my children 3 times . The last time was my my last straw and after much consideration and delay and separation , I filed . divorce is over and financial fights are still ongoing . He lied and still lying about financial issues. He constantly get into debts over his and his parents and his sisters shopping and spending . or maybe for another woman I don't know about although I suspected no OW .
Anyway , I told kids the truth without specifying the details and amount of money . My kids are 8 and 10 and pretty smart kids . They do ask and they saw the father hit me and heard the shouts so they roughly know the storyline . They just wanted know more details and I answered them .
Going forward a little , I had to explain that the father is not sending money over while he splurge on himself and on Saturday access on them as he is trying to buy their favour . While I am saving and living simple life ( which is pretty decent as I do have a decent income ) as I had to carry the entire financial burden at home , he is living it up and showing the good life to the kids on Saturday , while he is in debt . Until court order is finalized , I cant bring him to court for no support .
I do tell my kids his life style is wrong n not real . I really don't want my kids to grow up like him .
sometimes I wonder if I am wrong . but I believe the truth is better . at times , my son will wonder if not for them , if I would then not have money issues and burden . so I have to explain that I have no issues supporting and feeding my children and that is my duty but it was the father's fault and the in laws's fault wrt money . I teach them to be more mindful of expenditure .
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