Hi everyone... I'm new to this and have never done this before. I just need someone else to talk to other than family and friends.
I left my husband of 11 years a week ago for a slew of reasons. First and foremost because he was down right mean to our children. Two girls 6 and 7. Constantly calling them names an swearing at them plus a little of physical abuse.
Second reasons that I left him is because is has been mean to me as well. Don't get me wrong he has never hit me but he verbally and mentally abuses me. This whole thing came about when he started making me feel guilty for taking the kids to see my dad (whom he does not like). He would say I thought we were going to do this and that today but I guess I don't count. Very jealous person. So jealous that he would make me feel guilty for spending time with my own kids. What I see know is that he was alienating me from my family and friends. Friends that have gone there own way or missed friend ships because of him. He believes that he should be the only one that I talk to because he is my best friend. Basically if I didn't do what he said to do he would make me feel guilty. Then he would constantly call me at work on my cell phone just to chat and basically see who else I was talking to. He constantly accused me of having a boyfriend or girlfriend that I was doing stuff with. Eve ry time we would talk on the phone at the end of the call I would tell him I love you. If he was mad at me he would say it back.
Third I think he just wants to take advantage of me for as long as he can. I am the bread winner in my home and pay all the bills and carry the health insurance. He can't even keep a job. Well mostly if he worked at a conventional job he would get a pay check that would say void. He owes 13 years of back child support for two kids from his previous marriage. Anyway so he went to barber college and is now a state licensed barber and we just opened his own shop about 2 months ago basically because he guilt tripped me into it. Then for his birthday in July he wanted a boat. Well I can't afford to buy him a boat and he put up such a fus that I was completely sad and depressed because I couldn't buy him something he wanted. However I did buy him some fishing stuff and gave it to him. He looked at me and said gee thanks but can I go buy what I wanted now. Also we went to the store to get a few things and I told the kids to pick out something that cost $1. Then he gave the kids grie f because he supposedly didn't get anything for his birthday. UGH how can you do that to a KID.
Anyway these are just some of the last straws that drove me to my decision to leave. So now that I have been out for a week I feel so relieved and am starting the long road to recovery. However he keeps calling and texting me everyday. I honestly don't even want to talk to him. He wants to fix things and has sought counseling at the local church and has admitted he has issues. However I feel like it is a ploy to get me to come home. I have been trying to fix our relationship for a long time. Every time he says he will change and he does for a few weeks then he is right back to the same crap.
However I'm confused. My mind is telling me to try one more time but my heart is saying it is over. I don't feel love for him anymore the only thing I feel is resentment and hate. I get that couples have arguments and disagreements but usually they say sorry and try to work it out. Not with him he usually just told me to get over it and or throw past things in my face. I quite telling him everything a long time ago because of it. I started doing some research on emotionally, mentally and manipulating relationships and everything they say is him 100%. They also say that these kind of people don't change. Does anyone know if this is true? Sorry this is so long but I really need and un bias opinion. Thanks
I left my husband of 11 years a week ago for a slew of reasons. First and foremost because he was down right mean to our children. Two girls 6 and 7. Constantly calling them names an swearing at them plus a little of physical abuse.
Second reasons that I left him is because is has been mean to me as well. Don't get me wrong he has never hit me but he verbally and mentally abuses me. This whole thing came about when he started making me feel guilty for taking the kids to see my dad (whom he does not like). He would say I thought we were going to do this and that today but I guess I don't count. Very jealous person. So jealous that he would make me feel guilty for spending time with my own kids. What I see know is that he was alienating me from my family and friends. Friends that have gone there own way or missed friend ships because of him. He believes that he should be the only one that I talk to because he is my best friend. Basically if I didn't do what he said to do he would make me feel guilty. Then he would constantly call me at work on my cell phone just to chat and basically see who else I was talking to. He constantly accused me of having a boyfriend or girlfriend that I was doing stuff with. Eve ry time we would talk on the phone at the end of the call I would tell him I love you. If he was mad at me he would say it back.
Third I think he just wants to take advantage of me for as long as he can. I am the bread winner in my home and pay all the bills and carry the health insurance. He can't even keep a job. Well mostly if he worked at a conventional job he would get a pay check that would say void. He owes 13 years of back child support for two kids from his previous marriage. Anyway so he went to barber college and is now a state licensed barber and we just opened his own shop about 2 months ago basically because he guilt tripped me into it. Then for his birthday in July he wanted a boat. Well I can't afford to buy him a boat and he put up such a fus that I was completely sad and depressed because I couldn't buy him something he wanted. However I did buy him some fishing stuff and gave it to him. He looked at me and said gee thanks but can I go buy what I wanted now. Also we went to the store to get a few things and I told the kids to pick out something that cost $1. Then he gave the kids grie f because he supposedly didn't get anything for his birthday. UGH how can you do that to a KID.
Anyway these are just some of the last straws that drove me to my decision to leave. So now that I have been out for a week I feel so relieved and am starting the long road to recovery. However he keeps calling and texting me everyday. I honestly don't even want to talk to him. He wants to fix things and has sought counseling at the local church and has admitted he has issues. However I feel like it is a ploy to get me to come home. I have been trying to fix our relationship for a long time. Every time he says he will change and he does for a few weeks then he is right back to the same crap.
However I'm confused. My mind is telling me to try one more time but my heart is saying it is over. I don't feel love for him anymore the only thing I feel is resentment and hate. I get that couples have arguments and disagreements but usually they say sorry and try to work it out. Not with him he usually just told me to get over it and or throw past things in my face. I quite telling him everything a long time ago because of it. I started doing some research on emotionally, mentally and manipulating relationships and everything they say is him 100%. They also say that these kind of people don't change. Does anyone know if this is true? Sorry this is so long but I really need and un bias opinion. Thanks
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