So my stbx is a "fun" one. It's been a rough one year since finding out about his affair and wanting a divorce.
I have taken the high road and tried to keep the peace but I feel like he's taking advantage of the situation.
For example:
After finding out about the affair, I still agreed to live in the same house let alone in the same bed until I couldn't take it anymore and moved into another room.
After he lied about a "business" trip he took in the winter (he left out of state to visit the OW) I still let him back in the house when that should have been my cue to say leave.
Now that we are physically separated but not legally yet (divorce should go through by the new year), we share a joint checking account where he puts money for the kids.
Earlier this summer, upon finding out that I withdrew cash from an ATM, he texted me that I only use the debit card so he can see what's being purchased.
That situation blew over but today he noticed I transferred money to my own account and texted me that I once again only use the joint checking when making purchases. And that he would appreciate that I don't do that again.
That's just a few examples, he's definitely put me through some highs and lows with some crazy schemes.
I say he's "fun" because I'm trying to keep the peace without losing my cool but I really feel like I lost control here. I feel like the situation is so messed up.
He's the one that screwed up, he's the one that got caught cheating, but yet it's like he's calling the shots.
He doesn't like that I need some of the child support money (in the meantime until I start a full time job) because he doesn't want to take care of me anymore.
He's acts nice sometimes and says things like he'll help us move one day (to be closer to him) but then gets his feathers ruffled when he sees me withdrawing cash or transferring money.
Advice, opinions on how to deal with a character like this?
I know most of it is the result of what I allowed. I am a pushover when it comes to him. I have a hard time standing my ground but I want my power back without being evil.
I have taken the high road and tried to keep the peace but I feel like he's taking advantage of the situation.
For example:
After finding out about the affair, I still agreed to live in the same house let alone in the same bed until I couldn't take it anymore and moved into another room.
After he lied about a "business" trip he took in the winter (he left out of state to visit the OW) I still let him back in the house when that should have been my cue to say leave.
Now that we are physically separated but not legally yet (divorce should go through by the new year), we share a joint checking account where he puts money for the kids.
Earlier this summer, upon finding out that I withdrew cash from an ATM, he texted me that I only use the debit card so he can see what's being purchased.
That situation blew over but today he noticed I transferred money to my own account and texted me that I once again only use the joint checking when making purchases. And that he would appreciate that I don't do that again.
That's just a few examples, he's definitely put me through some highs and lows with some crazy schemes.
I say he's "fun" because I'm trying to keep the peace without losing my cool but I really feel like I lost control here. I feel like the situation is so messed up.
He's the one that screwed up, he's the one that got caught cheating, but yet it's like he's calling the shots.
He doesn't like that I need some of the child support money (in the meantime until I start a full time job) because he doesn't want to take care of me anymore.
He's acts nice sometimes and says things like he'll help us move one day (to be closer to him) but then gets his feathers ruffled when he sees me withdrawing cash or transferring money.
Advice, opinions on how to deal with a character like this?
I know most of it is the result of what I allowed. I am a pushover when it comes to him. I have a hard time standing my ground but I want my power back without being evil.
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