I've been divorced for 5 years, but only separated (for good this time) from my ex husband for about 6 weeks after a failed reconciliation. (We never remarried, we are divorced)
I'm not at all ready or interested in a relationship right now for both selfish reasons and reasons of really needing to heal and find myself. I also am completely uninterested in just sex/FWB.
I told my therapist this week that I'd been asked on a date and I went even though I'm not at all interested or ready (she agrees!) for a dating relationship.
She asked me why I said yes. I had a lot of "reasons" like:
-I have a hard time saying no/didn't want to hurt his feelings.
-He's very nice and he's interesting so I would actually like a friendship with him.
-I think you can go on dates without wanting a relationship....?? (can you?)
-It made me feel good to be asked out.
Considering the fact that after my divorce and before our reconciliation I jumped into dating way too soon, and had way too many dates/relationships during that time, and the fact that I feel like I want to be much smarter about it this time around, she really gave me a lot to think about....especially now, after our session. I think it will be the focus of our next session--her helping me set strict rules and boundaries for myself.
So, if you're dating, why are you dating? Is it to find a potential mate/partner? What are your feelings about dating just for fun but with no physical intimacy expected? Is that just leading someone on? If you're not willing/ready to consider a relationship, does that mean you have no business dating and should always say no?
I'm not at all ready or interested in a relationship right now for both selfish reasons and reasons of really needing to heal and find myself. I also am completely uninterested in just sex/FWB.
I told my therapist this week that I'd been asked on a date and I went even though I'm not at all interested or ready (she agrees!) for a dating relationship.
She asked me why I said yes. I had a lot of "reasons" like:
-I have a hard time saying no/didn't want to hurt his feelings.
-He's very nice and he's interesting so I would actually like a friendship with him.
-I think you can go on dates without wanting a relationship....?? (can you?)
-It made me feel good to be asked out.
Considering the fact that after my divorce and before our reconciliation I jumped into dating way too soon, and had way too many dates/relationships during that time, and the fact that I feel like I want to be much smarter about it this time around, she really gave me a lot to think about....especially now, after our session. I think it will be the focus of our next session--her helping me set strict rules and boundaries for myself.
So, if you're dating, why are you dating? Is it to find a potential mate/partner? What are your feelings about dating just for fun but with no physical intimacy expected? Is that just leading someone on? If you're not willing/ready to consider a relationship, does that mean you have no business dating and should always say no?
Put the internet to work for you.
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