My H hasn't cheated again. At least, not that I know of. However, I am having a problem coping with something that I could use your advice on.
Lil' bit of background:
Me and H are both 31 years old.
H has had two affairs that I know about.
First one he said was a ONS - only I found out 4 years later (about 3 years ago) that he slept with her the next morning as well. Thing is, he was out of town for training, and flew home that night and had sex with me (Had sex with her the night before and next morning - flew home that evening and had sex with me). I was beyond disgusted. It felt like the affair happened all over again. I found out about the affair because he couldn't stop talking about her. It was like he was 16 with a crush and telling me about all of the things they were doing together...
His story for that affair went like:
"There was no girl"
"okay she came by to talk, she was fighting with her bf"
"She stayed in the room, but she slept in the extra bed"
"okay I had sex with her that night"
4 years later....He said something that didn't add up... I asked if he slept with her more than once. He responded with:
"I don't know"
"I really don't remember"
"I slept with her the next morning too.
The second one happened on a deployment. His story went like the first affair did...
"She is fat and such a b*tch"
After I found her pic on FB - (He was still on the deployment and I was pregnant)
Me: You lied. She's not fat.
Him: How do you know?
Me: Facebook
Him: Well, I never said she was
Me: Seriously?
Him: Yeah, you're paranoid
After he got home - I waited because he can't lie to my face. I can tell if he is.
2 weeks after our son was born (our son was born the day after he got home)
Me: So, tell me about what happened
Him: Nothing - (He couldn't even look at me)
Me: Why are you shaking then?
Him: (stuttering) Okay. She tried to hold my hand while we were standing on the flight line.
Me: That's it? What did you do?
Him: I pulled away.
Me: that's good. So, why do you look like you're going to throw up?
Him: I just feel guilty
Me: For what? You did the right thing if that's what happened.
He looked at me and I swear went pale as a ghost.
Me: What? Is that not all?
Him:That's not what happened.
Me: ???
Him: I was in the truck with her going to get lunch for everyone and had my hand on the middle console. She put her hand on mind and we held hands the whole way there.
Me: Uh huh.
Him: I looked out the window the whole time.
Me: okay.
Him: Are you mad?
Me: I'm in disbelief. We're not in 5th grade. I've played this game with you before. Is that all that happened?
Him: Yes.
He STILL looked like he was going to throw up everywhere. So, I have no proof that he had a PA with her, but I have proof it was an EA from some emails I saw and the way he was being a d*ck to me the entire deployment up until she left. After she left, he was back to me like I was the best thing since sliced bread.
Sorry that part was long.
Now, my problem...
A few new people have started work at the shop. One is a female. Normally, I have zero issues with this. The last new girl to start there (she started like 8 months ago), I have no issues with. She is awesome and I love her! I'm even jealous of her perfect freaking skin lol. My H NEVER talked about her. Ever. So, I knew he wasn't interested, my extra sense didn't ping.
The one that just started last week is a different problem. I haven't met her. I don't creep his shop looking for new people, though I probably should soon. :grin2: Anyway, I know more about her than the other female that's been there for 8 months!!! He talks about her CONSTANTLY.
I know her age, her height, her weight....
My H has talked about different jokes they've been playing on each other.
H talked about how he's teasing her because she didn't know who he was at first. So, anytime she needs to talk to him - he's like "Oh no, I don't know Sgt Starrz" or "no, no...you didn't know who I was..." etc, etc.
She gets brought up at least 4 times a day. It's starting to get on my nerves.
She's only been there a freaking week and I've heard more about her than anyone else that's been there. Seriously? He volunteered all of that info. I asked how she was learning the new job...that's it. Over the past week, I've got that. Nothing about how she is an a co worker...just personal information about her height and weight...
So, I know I sound like a delusional psycho...annnd maybe I am. I hate feeling like an insecure freak.
I guess what I'm asking is, should my cheater sense be acting up or am I just being completely stupid? I haven't mentioned this to my H because I don't want to go there again unless I have reason to. Right now, I just have a paranoia. :(
This isn't normal, is it?
Lil' bit of background:
Me and H are both 31 years old.
H has had two affairs that I know about.
First one he said was a ONS - only I found out 4 years later (about 3 years ago) that he slept with her the next morning as well. Thing is, he was out of town for training, and flew home that night and had sex with me (Had sex with her the night before and next morning - flew home that evening and had sex with me). I was beyond disgusted. It felt like the affair happened all over again. I found out about the affair because he couldn't stop talking about her. It was like he was 16 with a crush and telling me about all of the things they were doing together...
His story for that affair went like:
"There was no girl"
"okay she came by to talk, she was fighting with her bf"
"She stayed in the room, but she slept in the extra bed"
"okay I had sex with her that night"
4 years later....He said something that didn't add up... I asked if he slept with her more than once. He responded with:
"I don't know"
"I really don't remember"
"I slept with her the next morning too.
The second one happened on a deployment. His story went like the first affair did...
"She is fat and such a b*tch"
After I found her pic on FB - (He was still on the deployment and I was pregnant)
Me: You lied. She's not fat.
Him: How do you know?
Me: Facebook
Him: Well, I never said she was
Me: Seriously?
Him: Yeah, you're paranoid
After he got home - I waited because he can't lie to my face. I can tell if he is.
2 weeks after our son was born (our son was born the day after he got home)
Me: So, tell me about what happened
Him: Nothing - (He couldn't even look at me)
Me: Why are you shaking then?
Him: (stuttering) Okay. She tried to hold my hand while we were standing on the flight line.
Me: That's it? What did you do?
Him: I pulled away.
Me: that's good. So, why do you look like you're going to throw up?
Him: I just feel guilty
Me: For what? You did the right thing if that's what happened.
He looked at me and I swear went pale as a ghost.
Me: What? Is that not all?
Him:That's not what happened.
Me: ???
Him: I was in the truck with her going to get lunch for everyone and had my hand on the middle console. She put her hand on mind and we held hands the whole way there.
Me: Uh huh.
Him: I looked out the window the whole time.
Me: okay.
Him: Are you mad?
Me: I'm in disbelief. We're not in 5th grade. I've played this game with you before. Is that all that happened?
Him: Yes.
He STILL looked like he was going to throw up everywhere. So, I have no proof that he had a PA with her, but I have proof it was an EA from some emails I saw and the way he was being a d*ck to me the entire deployment up until she left. After she left, he was back to me like I was the best thing since sliced bread.
Sorry that part was long.
Now, my problem...
A few new people have started work at the shop. One is a female. Normally, I have zero issues with this. The last new girl to start there (she started like 8 months ago), I have no issues with. She is awesome and I love her! I'm even jealous of her perfect freaking skin lol. My H NEVER talked about her. Ever. So, I knew he wasn't interested, my extra sense didn't ping.
The one that just started last week is a different problem. I haven't met her. I don't creep his shop looking for new people, though I probably should soon. :grin2: Anyway, I know more about her than the other female that's been there for 8 months!!! He talks about her CONSTANTLY.
I know her age, her height, her weight....
My H has talked about different jokes they've been playing on each other.
H talked about how he's teasing her because she didn't know who he was at first. So, anytime she needs to talk to him - he's like "Oh no, I don't know Sgt Starrz" or "no, no...you didn't know who I was..." etc, etc.
She gets brought up at least 4 times a day. It's starting to get on my nerves.
She's only been there a freaking week and I've heard more about her than anyone else that's been there. Seriously? He volunteered all of that info. I asked how she was learning the new job...that's it. Over the past week, I've got that. Nothing about how she is an a co worker...just personal information about her height and weight...
So, I know I sound like a delusional psycho...annnd maybe I am. I hate feeling like an insecure freak.
I guess what I'm asking is, should my cheater sense be acting up or am I just being completely stupid? I haven't mentioned this to my H because I don't want to go there again unless I have reason to. Right now, I just have a paranoia. :(
This isn't normal, is it?
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