Below are posts from a thread and it was recommended by a few posters (who I respect very much) that I needed to start a thread. Perhaps I'm just very tired (2-3 hours a night) but I don't know why I need to start a thread. Other then an attempt on my life which happened in August of last year. I have mentioned in several posts that I was suicidal. I'm extremely tired at the moment and I'm failing to see what I need from this thread. So I guess I'm asking for your perspective of what you take from these posts.
Posted by
drifting on
I agree this is situational to each case of infidelity. I chose to reconcile and exposing would have done nothing for me. I exposed the OM to his wife, I did this for me and I believe she had the right to know. I didn't expose OM for revenge, that is entirely a different matter. I did speak to my sister and tell her, but then she confessed to cheating on her husband for the last fourteen years.
My sister confessing broke my heart even more, she was the one person I thought I could go to, heh, think again. Exposing to anyone else I think would only harm our reconciliation. Friends and family would view my wife differently after exposure. I view my sister differently after her confession. Further exposure while reconciling will only shame the WS. If you are reconciling it is obvious the WS is remorseful and deserving of a second chance.
Exposing to save the marriage would mean your WS is not remorseful and divorce not sought out. You can save a marriage with exposure, but I find that to be scary as you want the WS to be remorseful of their own accord and not because you exposed. If I divorced, I believe I would only expose to her parents and mine, just so the truth be told. It is my opinion that the parents know the truth of why we are divorcing. Friends and other family don't really need to know unless lies are being told.
Posted by
bandit.45
Bvll****. You need to start a thread on this bro. You need to talk about this and get perspective. This is fvcking huge and you need support.
Posted by
drifting on
Worst night of my life Bandit, I met my sister about 9pm and left at 920pm, I drove around until I arrived home at 3am. It was the most hopeless I had ever felt, I grabbed my weapon and sat at my kitchen table, put the weapon under my chin tight to my adams apple and gently squeezed the trigger. The weapon jammed and I'm still here, I don't know if I have more to accomplish or if I'm to endure more pain.
Her husband knows and she is almost through the divorce process. I did find out her affair partner cheated on her though. Can't say I was sorry or couldn't see that coming. Probably won't start a thread.
Sorry for the thread jack.
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Posted by
drifting on
I agree this is situational to each case of infidelity. I chose to reconcile and exposing would have done nothing for me. I exposed the OM to his wife, I did this for me and I believe she had the right to know. I didn't expose OM for revenge, that is entirely a different matter. I did speak to my sister and tell her, but then she confessed to cheating on her husband for the last fourteen years.
My sister confessing broke my heart even more, she was the one person I thought I could go to, heh, think again. Exposing to anyone else I think would only harm our reconciliation. Friends and family would view my wife differently after exposure. I view my sister differently after her confession. Further exposure while reconciling will only shame the WS. If you are reconciling it is obvious the WS is remorseful and deserving of a second chance.
Exposing to save the marriage would mean your WS is not remorseful and divorce not sought out. You can save a marriage with exposure, but I find that to be scary as you want the WS to be remorseful of their own accord and not because you exposed. If I divorced, I believe I would only expose to her parents and mine, just so the truth be told. It is my opinion that the parents know the truth of why we are divorcing. Friends and other family don't really need to know unless lies are being told.
Posted by
bandit.45
Bvll****. You need to start a thread on this bro. You need to talk about this and get perspective. This is fvcking huge and you need support.
Posted by
drifting on
Worst night of my life Bandit, I met my sister about 9pm and left at 920pm, I drove around until I arrived home at 3am. It was the most hopeless I had ever felt, I grabbed my weapon and sat at my kitchen table, put the weapon under my chin tight to my adams apple and gently squeezed the trigger. The weapon jammed and I'm still here, I don't know if I have more to accomplish or if I'm to endure more pain.
Her husband knows and she is almost through the divorce process. I did find out her affair partner cheated on her though. Can't say I was sorry or couldn't see that coming. Probably won't start a thread.
Sorry for the thread jack.
Posted via Mobile Device
Put the internet to work for you.
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