I Regret leaving early and now i feel depressed (thread may be hard to understand)

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I Regret leaving early and now i feel depressed (thread may be hard to understand)

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• 3 hours ago 3h ago

Anon please

I was a Leader at a summer camp and whilst i was a favourite with the children (aged 10-16). I left early due to social anxiety and depression and not getting along with my colleagues. i was meant to do two weeks at this place and go to another site later this month.

I'm angry because i came home a week early, i forgot (bizzarely) that i don't get along with my family and i get bullied by them. Now i'm home, in depressing London, feeling sad and angry and getting the *******ing again from my parents.

I didn't want to do this but i had no friendship with my colleagues. I felt that i was constantly undermined by staff, i was getting pissed off that they made an 18 year old sixth former guy the camp manager (and power really got into his head), I felt there was a power struggle with my co-leaders (working with a specific age group), Conversations were awkward around me, i think i was almost falling in love with a colleague (I get pissed when i like a girl because i have social anxiety) and etc etc.

I only enjoyed working with the children, i was one of their FAVOURITE, I never knew i could enjoy a job for the first time but unforunately i had to stop this early because i worried the children would know that i was a loner and my colleagues asking very offensive personal question. I know i'm going back again later this month in a different but i have no plans what to do this week as if i was to continue this week in the camp, the other week (which would have been my week off ) would have been better planned.

My anxiety is evil and i just wish i had better relationships with people. I'm fed up as being seen as the loner. I am praying that hoping to go to uni this year i will probably hide in my room and come out at night since i'm allergic to people.

What should i do now; i know my dad will be calling me a loner in a few hours. Should i ask for extra vacancies from the job to actually go away for two weeks?? I'm really anxious at home as i type.

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