I am probably going to get some "what did you expect?" on here but I need to get this off my chest.
I have been married to a lady about 10 years, me now 52, she 42. She is crazy fun in bed, the closest thing to a nympho I have ever had and most guys would drool over my sex life. I have been "oversexed" my whole life and when I met her we clicked big time. We have done almost anything you can imagine. So the sex is (still) great, she is a great stepmother to my children, she helps me a lot in my business and we like to do a lot of the same things. She has been my best friend for years.
OK, 7 years ago we were talking sex talk about her sleeping with a friend of mine as this turns us both on. The next thing you know she is really sleeping with him. This affair lasted about 5 weeks and when I found out I was devastated. I wanted to talk about sex but not have her step out on me. She acted super-sorry, did everything right so after some time I forgave her and although I had some lack of trust, I really moved on. The last few years were fine.
Since then we had a couple of threesomes, one with a girl and one with a guy, they were just OK. Fast forward to recent months and we started having threesomes with a good friend of mine and I have to admit it was a blast. We enjoyed each others company and occasionally would **** around, all was good.
One night after such a tryst my friend was going to a bar and I was ready for some sleep. My wife was upset as she wanted to go out so we argued but I just went to sleep. At about 1AM I awoke and she was not there. I walked downstairs and opened a spare bedroom and they were on the bed, although fully clothed. They had apparently started texting one another and he came back but this was behind my back and against the rules we set up. I was so upset I was ready for a divorce but I figured I contributed to it, they were drunk and both sorry, again I forgave her after a couple of weeks.
We actually were extremely close for the next few weeks and all was good. We cooled off on sleeping with my friend but he is in our life and eventually it happened again but there were no issues about it. Now a couple of weeks ago I saw some texts where they were texting each other again and I confronted her. She I believe told me everything, that the texts started up again (flirting) and they even went to an empty house she is selling to probably have sex. Once there she (or him or both) felt guilty and did they nothing and we actually got together later that night before I knew all this. I believe this story as she didn't even have to tell me they saw each other and in general she is not a liar. She claims they both got off on the flirting and acting but she only loves me and now doesn't even want to talk/see the other guy, with me or without me. But still I asked them both not to even flirt without me so I am really upset, I mean these were my two best friends in t he world.
My friend has come to me and is very sorry. She has been very sorry and is doing all she can to keep me. I did not touch her for over a week but eventually I gave in and we have been having sex again. She is acting like the perfect wife, says she loves me over and over. I have not used those words since the incident and I love her but obviously don't trust her and the feeling of love is not as strong. Before we were best friends and used words like "soulmate", now I am like, "Yeah, right."
So now we are together and she is being really nice (always was), our lives are so intertwined a divorce seems like so much work that I don't want it and I like being married, I guess I like the settled life. I think I can learn to forgive her and maybe love her like before. However, I would say she has now earned the title of "serial cheater" and I know this site usually says move on from them. And yeah I know that the threesome crap has to stop, this has obviously contributed to the problem.
I am sort of depressed about the whole situation but I ask myself, "Am I better off with her or without her? So now just asking to see if anyone has any comments or advice?
I have been married to a lady about 10 years, me now 52, she 42. She is crazy fun in bed, the closest thing to a nympho I have ever had and most guys would drool over my sex life. I have been "oversexed" my whole life and when I met her we clicked big time. We have done almost anything you can imagine. So the sex is (still) great, she is a great stepmother to my children, she helps me a lot in my business and we like to do a lot of the same things. She has been my best friend for years.
OK, 7 years ago we were talking sex talk about her sleeping with a friend of mine as this turns us both on. The next thing you know she is really sleeping with him. This affair lasted about 5 weeks and when I found out I was devastated. I wanted to talk about sex but not have her step out on me. She acted super-sorry, did everything right so after some time I forgave her and although I had some lack of trust, I really moved on. The last few years were fine.
Since then we had a couple of threesomes, one with a girl and one with a guy, they were just OK. Fast forward to recent months and we started having threesomes with a good friend of mine and I have to admit it was a blast. We enjoyed each others company and occasionally would **** around, all was good.
One night after such a tryst my friend was going to a bar and I was ready for some sleep. My wife was upset as she wanted to go out so we argued but I just went to sleep. At about 1AM I awoke and she was not there. I walked downstairs and opened a spare bedroom and they were on the bed, although fully clothed. They had apparently started texting one another and he came back but this was behind my back and against the rules we set up. I was so upset I was ready for a divorce but I figured I contributed to it, they were drunk and both sorry, again I forgave her after a couple of weeks.
We actually were extremely close for the next few weeks and all was good. We cooled off on sleeping with my friend but he is in our life and eventually it happened again but there were no issues about it. Now a couple of weeks ago I saw some texts where they were texting each other again and I confronted her. She I believe told me everything, that the texts started up again (flirting) and they even went to an empty house she is selling to probably have sex. Once there she (or him or both) felt guilty and did they nothing and we actually got together later that night before I knew all this. I believe this story as she didn't even have to tell me they saw each other and in general she is not a liar. She claims they both got off on the flirting and acting but she only loves me and now doesn't even want to talk/see the other guy, with me or without me. But still I asked them both not to even flirt without me so I am really upset, I mean these were my two best friends in t he world.
My friend has come to me and is very sorry. She has been very sorry and is doing all she can to keep me. I did not touch her for over a week but eventually I gave in and we have been having sex again. She is acting like the perfect wife, says she loves me over and over. I have not used those words since the incident and I love her but obviously don't trust her and the feeling of love is not as strong. Before we were best friends and used words like "soulmate", now I am like, "Yeah, right."
So now we are together and she is being really nice (always was), our lives are so intertwined a divorce seems like so much work that I don't want it and I like being married, I guess I like the settled life. I think I can learn to forgive her and maybe love her like before. However, I would say she has now earned the title of "serial cheater" and I know this site usually says move on from them. And yeah I know that the threesome crap has to stop, this has obviously contributed to the problem.
I am sort of depressed about the whole situation but I ask myself, "Am I better off with her or without her? So now just asking to see if anyone has any comments or advice?
Put the internet to work for you.
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